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Wang Da was an official in the Ministry of Personnel. He once made a draft of an essay. When he was about to submit it to the emperor, Wang Sengmi came and he showed it to him. Seng Mide then changed nearly half of the selections according to his own ideas. Wang Da thought they were very good and rewrote them immediately to present to the king.
The father and son of Yin Taichang of Jiangzuo were both able to reason, but they also had differences in their eloquence and taciturnity. When Yangzhou talked a lot, Taichang would say, "You should think more about my argument."
Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
They seek but cannot find him, they enter the door but cannot see him, they go up to the hall but cannot see him, they enter the room but cannot see him. He is gone, he is dead! He can never be seen again! Therefore, they cry and dance, and stop when they have exhausted their grief. Their hearts are sad and sorrowful, they are confused and angry, their hearts are broken and their wills are sad. They offer sacrifices to the ancestral temples and offer sacrifices to the ghosts, hoping that they will return.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Gu Changkang worshipped Huan Xuanwu's tomb and composed a poem: "The mountains collapsed and the seas dried up, where will the fish and birds go?" Someone asked him: "You relied on Huan so much, can you see your crying?" Gu said: "My nose is like a wide wind, and my eyes are like a river bursting." Someone else said: "My voice is like thunder that breaks the mountain, and my tears are like a river pouring into the sea."
If there is a minister who is completely incompetent and has no other skills, and whose heart is at ease, how can he tolerate it? If someone has skills, he will treat them as if they were his own; if someone is a wise man, he will like them in his heart, as if they were coming out of his mouth. If he can really tolerate them, he can protect his descendants and the people, and it is still beneficial! If someone has skills, he will be jealous and hate them; if someone is a wise man, he will oppose them and make them unacceptable: If he can really not tolerate them, he will not be able to protect his descendants and the people, and it is also dangerous! "Only benevolent people can exile them and drive them to the four barbarians, and not let them live with China. This means that only benevolent people can love people and hate people. Seeing the virtuous but not being able to promote them, promoting them but not being able to lead them, is fate; seeing the evil but not being able to retreat, retreating but not being able to stay away, is a mistake. To like what people hate and to hate what people like is to go against people's nature, and the harm will surely come to oneself. Therefore, a gentleman has a great way, and he must be loyal and faithful to gain it, and arrogant and complacent to lose it.
After three days, the body is buried. The body on the bed is called a corpse, and the body in the coffin is called a coffin. When the corpse is moved and the coffin is lifted, there are countless cries and jumps. The heart of pity and pain and the intention of grief and illness are strong, so the body is exposed and jumps, so as to move the body and calm the heart and lower the qi. Women should not expose their chests, so they beat their chests and jump, and they are as loud as a broken wall, which is the extreme of grief and pain. Therefore, it is said: "The body is jumped and wept, and the body is sent away with sorrow. The body is sent away and the spirit is welcomed back."
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