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Wang Dongting and Xie Gong were at odds with each other. When the king heard about the funeral in the east, he went out of the capital to find Zi Jing and said, "I want to mourn for Gong." Zi Jing had just gone to bed, and when he heard his words, he got up in surprise and said, "I hope for Fa Hu." So the king went to mourn. The commander-in-chief Diao Yue refused to listen and said, "I have never seen such a guest in my life." Wang also did not speak to him, but went straight forward, crying bitterly, and left without holding the hand of the last maid.
Wang Gongyuan married the daughter of Zhuge Dan. After they entered the room and started talking, the king said to the woman, "You look humble, not like Gong Xiu at all!" The woman said, "A man cannot imitate Yan Yun, but let a woman compare herself to Ying Jie!"
During the three-year mourning period, one should not speak or answer questions. Lu means in the white room, one should not sit with others. In the white room, one should not enter unless it is the right time to see the mother. The elderly should live in the white room and not in the white room. Lu means strict. Wife should be treated as uncles and aunts, aunts and sisters as brothers, and the eldest, middle and youngest as adults. The mourning period for relatives is exempted, and the mourning period for brothers is exempted. The mother and wife of the king should be treated as brothers. Those who show their color should not eat or drink. Apart from the mourning period, when walking on the road, one should be surprised when seeing someone, and surprised when hearing someone’s name. When visiting the deceased or asking about his illness, one’s color and expression must be different from others. Only after this can one observe the three-year mourning period. The rest should be done in a straightforward manner.
The wet nurse of Emperor Wu of Han once committed a crime outside. The emperor wanted to enforce the law, and the wet nurse asked Dongfang Shuo for help. Shuo said, "This is not a matter of argument. If you really want to be saved, you should look back at the emperor many times before leaving and be careful not to say anything! This may be a one in a million hope." When the wet nurse arrived, Shuo was also serving by her side, so he said to her, "You are foolish! Does the emperor still remember the kindness he showed when you were feeding him?" Although the emperor was talented and strong-willed, he also had deep feelings for her, so he felt sad for her and immediately ordered her to be pardoned.
Xu Shizhong and Gu Sikong were both assistants to the prime minister. At that time, they had already been met, and there were no differences in their outings, banquets and gatherings. One night, they went to the prime minister's tent to play with each other. The two of them were so happy that the prime minister ordered them to sleep in his tent. When I looked back at dawn, I felt no joy. Xu went to bed and snored loudly. The Prime Minister looked at the guests and said, "It is hard to find a place to sleep here either."
In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
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