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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Zi Yun: "A gentleman forgives his parents' faults and respects their virtues." The Analects says: "If one does not change his father's way for three years, he can be called filial." Gaozong said: "For three years, he did not speak, and he would complain if he spoke." Zi Yun: "If one obeys orders without anger, gives subtle advice without getting tired, and works hard without complaining, he can be called filial." The Book of Poetry
As a son: While parents are still alive, your clothes do not have to be purely plain. There is an orphan in the room, and his hat and clothes are not of pure color.
The eldest son of Shan Gong was wearing a short cap and leaning in the carriage. Emperor Wu wanted to see him, and Shan Gong did not dare to refuse. He asked his son, but the son refused to go. The contemporary opinion was that he was Shengshan Gong.
Emperor Ming asked Marquis Zhou, "Some people compare you to Xi Jian. What do you think?" Zhou said, "Your Majesty, there is no need to compare you to Xi Jian."
Duke Huan asked Huan Ziye: "Xie Anshi knew that Wan Shi would fail, why didn't he advise him?" Ziye replied: "So he should be difficult to offend!" Duke Huan said angrily: "Wan Shi is weak and ordinary, why is it difficult to offend Yan Yan?"
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