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Foreign affairs are firm on the day, and domestic affairs are gentle on the day. For divination days: those outside the ten days are called distant days, and those within the ten days are called near days. Funerals are preceded by distant days, and auspicious days are preceded by near days. It is said: "For the day, if you use the tortoise shell, there is a regularity, and if you use the divination stick, there is a regularity."
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
The destiny of heaven is called nature, following nature is called the way, and cultivating the way is called teaching. The way cannot be separated for a moment, and it is not the way if it can be separated. Therefore, the gentleman is cautious about what he does not see and fearful of what he does not hear. Nothing is more hidden than the hidden, and nothing is more obvious than the subtle, so the gentleman is cautious when he is alone. When joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness are not expressed, it is called the middle; when they are expressed in moderation, it is called harmony; the middle is the great foundation of the world; harmony is the way of the world. When the middle and harmony are achieved, heaven and earth are in their proper places, and all things are nurtured.
The one who is most benevolent has the most heavy mourning; therefore, for a father, he should wear mourning clothes for three years, which is a rule of benevolence. In the governance of the family, grace covers righteousness; in the governance of the family, righteousness cuts off grace. From serving the father to serving the king, and respecting the same, respecting the noble and respecting the elder, this is the greatest righteousness. Therefore, for a king, he should also wear mourning clothes for three years, which is a rule of righteousness.
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