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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
During the funeral of Duke Dao, Ji Zhaozi asked Meng Jingzi, "What should the monarch eat?" Jingzi said, "Eating porridge is the most common etiquette in the world. The fact that we three ministers cannot live in the public office has been heard by everyone in the four directions. If I try hard to be poor, then I can do it. Wouldn't it make people suspect that I live in poor conditions without emotion? I will eat."
The Master said: "If the ministers are not close to the people, the people are not at peace, then loyalty and respect are insufficient, and wealth and honor are excessive; if the ministers are not governed, the close ministers will be in competition. Therefore, the ministers must be respected, which is the model of the people; the close ministers must be cautious, which is the way of the people. The king should not make small plans for big things, do not talk about the near with the far, and do not make plans for the outside with the inside, then the ministers will not complain, the close ministers will not be angry, and the distant ministers will not be blinded. The Duke of She said in his last words: "Do not ruin big things with small plans, do not anger Queen Zhuang with favorite concubines, and do not anger Zhuangshi, the officials, and the ministers with favorite concubines. '"
When Xie Yi was the magistrate of Shan, an old man broke the law, so Xie punished him by giving him strong liquor, even until he was drunk, but he was still not satisfied. The Taifu was seven or eight years old at the time. He was wearing blue cloth trousers and sitting beside his brother's knees. He advised him, "Brother! The old man is pitiful. Why do you do this?" Yi then changed his expression and said, "Anu, do you want to let him go?" Then he sent him away.
Shangshu Wang Hui once visited Wang Youjun's wife and asked, "Do you feel bad about your eyes and ears?" She replied, "White hair and falling teeth belong to the body; as for the eyes and ears, they are related to the spirit, can they be separated from people?"
Zi Zhang was ill, so he summoned Shen Xiang and said to him: "A gentleman says 'end', a villain says 'death'; I am almost there today!" Zeng Zi said: "The first funeral is held, and the rest is held in the pavilion?" Zeng Zi said: "For small merits, there is no position, it is the etiquette of the alley. When Zi Si cried for his sister-in-law, it was a position, and women danced; when Shen Xiang cried for Si, it was the same."
Zengzi and his guests stood by the door, and his followers hurried out. Zengzi asked, "Where are you going?" He said, "My father died, and I will go out to cry in the alley." He said, "I will go back and cry next to you." Zengzi faced north and mourned.
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