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Someone asked: "What is a cane?" The answer is: bamboo and tung are the same. So for the father, a cane is made of bamboo; for the mother, a cane is made of tung.
What is a "mao"? It is to cover the body. From the funeral to the small funeral, if you don't set up a "mao", you will be exposed. So you set up a "mao" after the funeral. Someone asked Zengzi, "Is it like wrapping up the rest after sending it away, or wrapping up the rest after eating? Do gentlemen wrap up the rest after eating?" Zengzi said, "My son, have you not seen the great feast? In a grand feast, after the feast, the three animals are rolled up and returned to the guesthouse. Parents are treated as guests, so they mourn! Have you not seen a grand feast? "If it is not a funeral, why ask and give?
When asked about the age of the emperor, he should answer, “I heard that he started to wear clothes of a certain length.” When asked about the age of the king, he should answer, “I heard that he started to wear clothes of a certain length.” When asked about the age of the king, he should answer, “He can follow the affairs of the ancestral temple and the altar of grain when he is older; he should answer, “He cannot follow the affairs of the ancestral temple and the altar of grain when he is younger.” When asked about the son of a senior official, he should answer, “He can drive when he is older; he cannot drive when he is younger.” When asked about the son of a scholar, he should answer, “He can handle the formalities of the reception when he is older; he cannot handle the formalities of the reception when he is younger.” When asked about the son of a commoner, he should answer, “He can carry firewood when he is older; he cannot carry firewood when he is younger.” When asked about the wealth of the king, he should answer, “He can cook food with his own strength, and he does not need to use sacrificial utensils and clothes.” When asked about the wealth of a scholar, he should answer, “He can carry firewood with his own strength.” When asked about the wealth of common people, they should answer by counting their livestock.
When Wen Bo died, Jing Jiang sat on his bed without crying, saying, "In the past, I had Si Zi, and I thought he would be a wise man, so I never went to the public office; now when he died, none of my friends and ministers shed tears, but the women in the house all cried loudly. Si Zi must have been very unruly!" When Ji Kangzi's mother died, he laid out his underwear. Jing Jiang said, "A woman who does not wear clothes dare not meet her parents-in-law. There will be guests from all over the world coming. Why should she display her underwear here?" She ordered to remove it.
The way of the gentleman is expensive and hidden. The foolishness of a husband and wife can be understood, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not know it. The unworthy husband and wife can do something, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not be able to do it. The universe is so big, but people still have something to regret. Therefore, when a gentleman speaks big, no one in the world can contain it; when he speaks small, no one in the world can break it. The Book of Songs says, "The kite flies to the sky, and the fish leaps in the deep." It means that he is observant of everything. The way of a gentleman starts with husband and wife, and when it reaches the extreme, he observes the universe.
The host personally invites the guests to the door, and the guests follow him. As for the door, the host bows to the guests and the door, and the guests enter by themselves; the distinction between noble and humble is made. Three bows to the steps, three concessions to the guests, bowing to the door, offering, paying, and refusing are complicated. The door is simple. As for the guests ascending to receive, sitting to offer, standing to drink. No toasts and descending; the distinction between high and low is made.
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