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Zhang Jiying was unrestrained and was called the Jiangdong Infantryman by his contemporaries. Someone said to him: "You can indulge yourself for a while, but don't you care about your reputation after death?" He replied: "If I have a reputation after death, it is better to have a glass of wine now!"
When Kong Junping was seriously ill, Yu Sikong was sent to Kuaiji to visit him. He asked him about his condition and even shed tears. After Yu got off the bed, Kong said with a sigh: "A real man is about to die, but instead of asking about the way to keep the country and the family safe, he pretends to be a child and asks!" When Yu heard this, he thanked him and asked him to talk.
The funeral of the deceased below the standard of mourning is not allowed: first go to the tomb, face west and cry out loud, remove the hemp cloth, face east, take the throne, cry and dance with the host, and then take the throne. If there is a guest, the host will bow to the guest and see him off; if there is a guest who arrives later, the host will bow to him as before. The attendant will tell them that the matter is over. Then he will wear a crown and go home, enter the door on the left, face north and cry out loud, remove the hemp cloth, then take the throne in the east, bow to the guest and dance. When the guest leaves, the host will bow to see him off. After crying again, the host will not bare the hemp cloth, then dance; after crying for the third time, the host will not bare the hemp cloth, then dance. After three days, the mourning period will be completed, and after crying for the fifth time, The lord of the house reported that the matter was completed.
Xu Yun's wife was the daughter of Ruan Weiwei. She was as virtuous as her sister but extremely ugly. After the formalities were exchanged, Yun refused to continue his talk, and his family members were deeply worried. When a guest arrived in Huiyun, the wife asked her maid to check him out, and she replied, "It's Huan Lang." Huan Lang is Huan Fan. The woman said, "Don't worry, Huan will persuade you to come in." Huan indeed said to Xu, "Since the Ruan family married their ugly daughter to you, they must be interested in you. You should observe it." Xu then went back inside. As soon as he saw the woman, he wanted to leave. The woman realized that after he left, there was no way he would come back, so she grabbed his skirt and stopped him. "Xu Yin said, "A woman has four virtues. How many of them do you have? "The woman said, "The only thing a new bride lacks is your appearance. However, a scholar has a hundred virtues, how many do you have? "Xu Yun: "All are ready." "The woman said: "Virtue is the most important of all virtues. You like lust but not virtue. How can you say you have everything?" "Yun felt ashamed and began to respect him.
Confucian scholars are entrusted with money and drowned in pleasure. They do not lose their righteousness when they see profit; they are robbed by people and discouraged by soldiers. They do not change their principles when they see death; they are like prey and insects, not brave, and they do not consider their strength when they pull heavy tripods; they do not regret the past and do not worry about the future; they do not repeat their mistakes and do not spread rumors; they do not break their power and do not practice their plans. There are such people who are unique.
The way of a gentleman is like starting from near when he wants to go far, and starting from low when he wants to climb high. The Book of Songs says: "Wife and wife are in harmony, like playing the harp and the lyre. Brothers are in harmony, and they are happy and indulgent. Be good to your family, and enjoy your wife and money." Confucius said: "Parents are obedient!"
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
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