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Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
Yanling Jizi went to Qi, and on his way back, his eldest son died and was buried between Yingbo. Confucius said, "Yanling Jizi is a person in Wu who is accustomed to etiquette." He went to see his burial. The pit was not deep enough to reach the spring, and he was buried in the seasonal clothes. After the burial, the seal was sealed, and the pit was covered with wide wheels, so that it was high enough to hide. After the enthronement, he exposed his left arm and returned his right arm to the enthronement and cried three times, saying: "Bone flesh and blood return to the earth, it is destiny. As for the soul and spirit, everything will return, everything will return." Then he left. Confucius said: "Yanling Jizi's understanding of etiquette is in accordance with it!"
Whenever Huan Ziye heard a beautiful song, he would always cry out, "What can I do?" When Xie Gong heard this, he said, "Ziye is truly a man of deep affection."
Dragon fell, Duke Mu summoned Xianzi and asked him, "It hasn't rained for a long time. I want to punish the young, but what should I do?" He said, "It hasn't rained for a long time, and I want to punish the young, and I'm cruel. Isn't it unacceptable!" "Then I want to punish the witch, but what should I do?" He said, "It hasn't rained, and I look for it with a foolish woman. Isn't it too distant?" "What should I do if I move the market?" He said, "When the emperor dies, the market will be open for seven days; when the princes die, the market will be open for three days. Isn't it okay to move the market for them?" Confucius said, "The people of Wei separate their bodies when they are buried; the people of Lu unite their bodies when they are buried. Good man!"
When Xie Ziwei saw Xu Zijiang and his brothers, he said, "There are two dragons in the Pingyu Abyss." When he saw Xu Zizheng in his early twenties, he sighed and said, "A man like Xu Zizheng has the ability to make contributions to the country. He is upright and loyal, like Chen Zhongju; he is good at fighting evil and dismissing unworthy people, like Fan Mengbo."
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