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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Taifu Xie was lingering in Dongshan, he went sailing on the sea with Sun Xinggong and others. The wind was blowing and the waves were surging. Sun, Wang and others were all shocked and ordered their men to return. The Taifu had a solemn look on his face, chanting and whistling without saying a word. The boatman thought the gentleman looked relaxed, but he still kept going. The wind suddenly turned strong and the waves became fierce; everyone was noisy and could not sit still. Gong Xuyun said: "If this continues, there will be no way back!" Everyone immediately responded and went back. Therefore, he was judged to be capable of maintaining peace in the government and the country.
When Duke Wen was first persuaded to ascend the throne by the envoy of Prime Minister Liu, his mother, Cui, insisted on staying, so Jiao broke off his sleeve and left. Even though he was highly respected, his local status was still not higher than others. An imperial edict was issued for each title.
Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don’t they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
Yuan Yandao had two sisters: one married Yin Yuanyuan, and the other married Xie Renzu. I said to Huan Xuanwu: "I wish there was someone else who could match you."
When Wang Changshi and Liu Zhen met again after a long separation, Wang said to Liu, "You have made more progress." Liu replied, "It is just like the sky is high above me."
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