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A gentleman has three worries: if he has not heard it, he worries that he will not be able to hear it; if he has heard it, he worries that he will not be able to learn it; if he has learned it, he worries that he will not be able to practice it. A gentleman has five shames: if he is in his position but does not speak the right words, he is ashamed; if he has the right words but does not act the right words, he is ashamed; if he has gained it and then lost it, he is ashamed; if the land is surplus but the people are insufficient, he is ashamed; if the number of people is equal but double, he is ashamed.
Guo Zigao said, "Burial means hiding; hiding means that people cannot see it. Therefore, clothes are enough to decorate the body, the coffin is surrounded by clothes, the outer coffin is surrounded by coffin, and the earth is surrounded by the outer coffin; turn the soil and plant trees."
When marrying a woman to the emperor, it is said to prepare the people; to the king, it is said to prepare wine and liquor; to the minister, it is said to prepare sweeping.
In the battle at Lang, Gongshu Yu met a man who came to the rescue with a stick on his back and said, "Even if he is sick and the responsibility is heavy, a gentleman cannot make plans, and a scholar cannot die. No! I have already said it." He and his neighbor Tong Wangji went there, and they all died there. The people of Lu wanted to avoid the death of Tong Wangji, so they asked Zhongni. Zhongni said: "If you can take up arms to defend the state, even if you don't want to die, isn't it good?"
When Duke Yu was the Protector General, he asked Huan Tingwei to find a good official, and the search lasted for years. Queen Huan met Xu Ning and learned about it, so she told Yu Gong: "What others should have, you don't have to have; what others should not have, you don't have to not have. He is truly a pure man in the sea and mountains."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Kang Sengyuan was in Yuzhang, several dozen miles away from the city, and built a monastery. There are mountains on the side and long rivers on the side, fragrant forests line the courtyards and clear streams rush around the halls. He studied and lectured at leisure, hoping to savor the essence of his works. Many people like Yu Gong went to see him. Watching him use breathing exercises, his temperament becomes better. In addition, he was content with his situation and felt happy, so his reputation grew. Later he couldn't bear it anymore and left.
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