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Yin Zhongjun once went to Liu Yin's place to speak clearly. After a long time, Yin Li was slightly defeated, You kept on talking, and Liu did not answer him either. After Yin left, he said, "You are a peasant boy, you are trying to learn to speak your language."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Wang Changyu was a cautious and obedient person, and he was filial to his parents with all his heart. The prime minister was always happy when he saw Changyu, and always angry when he saw Jingyu. When Chang Yu talked with the Prime Minister, he always emphasized caution. Whenever the Prime Minister returned to the court, he would always be escorted to the back of the carriage. Heng and Madam Cao were both placed in the same box. After Changyu's death, the prime minister returned to the palace. After getting on the carriage, he cried all the way to the gate of the palace. Madam Cao made a basket and sealed it, but she could not bear to open it.
Huan Nanjun was summoned to be the prince's groom, and his boat was moored at Dizhu. After Wang Dafu finished, he was a little drunk and went to see Huan. Huan prepared wine, but the king could not drink it cold, so he kept saying to his attendants, "Tell them to warm the wine!" Huan then started to cry and sob, and the king wanted to leave. Huan hid his tears with his handkerchief and said to the king: "It is my family's taboo, what does it have to do with you?" The king sighed and said: "Lingbao came by himself."
When Yuan Hong first wrote the Fu on the Eastern Expedition, he did not mention Tao Yuanming at all. The Hu slave lured him into a narrow room, pointed a sword at him, and said, "The merits of our ancestors were so great! You wrote the poem about the Eastern Expedition, how could you ignore it?" Hong was embarrassed and had no idea, so he replied, "I am the Great Dao Master, why do you say I have nothing?" Then he recited, "Fine gold is refined a hundred times, and it can be cut. His merits are to govern people, and his duty is to quell rebellions. Changsha's merits are praised by history."
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
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