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Grand Tutor Xie asked the chief clerk Lu Tui, "Why did Zhang Ping write a eulogy for his mother but not for his father?" Tui replied, "It is because a man's virtue is shown in his deeds, and a woman's beauty cannot be revealed without a eulogy."
During Bo Gao's funeral, the envoys of the Kong family had not arrived yet, and Ran Zi took the silk bundle and rode a horse to lead them. Confucius said: "Strange! It makes me disloyal to Bo Gao."
The lowly should not mourn the noble, the young should not mourn the old, this is the etiquette. Only the emperor should be mourned by calling the heaven. The princes mourning each other is not etiquette.
When the king gives a carriage and horses, ride to pay tribute to the gift; wear clothes to pay tribute to the gift; do not dare to ride or wear without the king's order. When the king gives, bow and place the gift on the ground with your palm; when wine and meat are given, do not bow twice. In all gifts, gentlemen and villains have different days. When offering to the king, the senior officials send the butcher, and the scholars are relatives, all bow twice and bow to send. When serving the king a meal, if there are meat peaches and straw, the straw is removed for the senior officials and the meat is removed for the scholars, and all are done by the butcher. The senior officials do not bow in person, as it is the king's response to themselves. The senior official bowed and gave gifts and left. The scholar waited for the promise and left. He bowed again, but no one bowed in return. The senior official personally gave gifts to the scholar. The scholar bowed and accepted. He bowed again in his room. He did not put on clothes before bowing. When the enemy was not present, he bowed in his room. Whenever he made an offering to a respected person, he did not dare to report it. The scholar did not accept the congratulations of the senior official. The lower official accepted the congratulations of the higher official. When the relatives were present, he addressed the person as father. If someone gave him gifts, he addressed him as father and bowed to him. The ceremony was not grand, and the clothes were not full. Therefore, the fur coat was not covered, and the carriage was not arranged in a proper manner.
In this month, the emperor began to wear furs. He ordered the officials to say: The sky is rising, the earth is falling, the sky and the earth are not connected, and winter has come. He ordered all officials to cover and store carefully. He ordered the minister of justice to go around and accumulate, and collect everything. He destroyed the city walls, guarded the gates, repaired the keys and gates, carefully managed the flutes, strengthened the borders, prepared for the borders, completed the fortresses, carefully closed the bridges, and blocked the paths. He ordered the funeral rules, distinguished the clothes, and examined the thickness of the coffins, the size, height, thickness of the tombs, and the levels of the nobles and the humble.
The meaning of drinking in the village: the host greets the guests outside the school gate, and when they enter, they bow three times before going up the steps, and then give way three times before going up, so as to show respect and courtesy. Wash and raise the cup, so as to show cleanliness. Bowing to arrive, bowing to wash, bowing to receive, bowing to send off, and bowing to end is to show respect. Respect, courtesy, cleanliness and respect are the reasons why gentlemen interact with each other. Gentlemen respect and yield will not argue, and cleanliness and respect will not be rude. If they are not rude and do not argue, they will be far away from fighting and arguing; if they do not fight and argue, there will be no disasters of violence and rebellion. This is why gentlemen are free from human disasters, so the sages regulate it with the Tao.
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