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Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
Zhi Daolin often raised several horses. Someone said that the Taoists’ horses were not good at making music. Zhi said, “I value their divine steeds.”
Zhang Cangwu was the ancestor of Zhang Ping. He once said to Ping’s father, “I am not as good as you.” Ping’s father did not understand why. Cangwu said, "You have a beautiful son." Ping was a few years old at that time. He put his hands together and said, "Old man, how can you tease your father with your son?"
The senior officials lower their concubines’ sons, and their grandchildren do not lower their fathers. Senior officials do not preside over the mourning of scholars. There is no mourning for the parents of the loving mother. If the husband is the descendant, his wife is the great merit of the uncle and aunt. If the scholar is buried with the senior officials, the sacrifice is changed. If the stepfather does not live with him, he must live with him once. There is no master descendant. Sharing wealth and offering sacrifices to the ancestors is considered living together; if there is a master descendant, it is considered living separately. Those who mourn for their friends should face south to the right outside the door. Those who are buried with their parents do not use divination to predict their house. Scholars and officials cannot be buried with princes. They can be buried with their grandfathers. For scholars and officials, their wives are buried with their aunts and grandparents, and their concubines are buried with their grandparents. If they die, the first and second sons can be buried with them. They must be buried according to the order of the ancestors. Princes cannot be buried with the emperor. The emperor, princes, and officials can be buried with scholars.
Xu Yun was the Minister of Personnel and he employed many people from his hometown. Emperor Ming of Wei therefore sent the Tiger Guards to recruit him. His wife came out and warned Yun, saying, "A wise ruler can take things away with reason, but it is difficult to persuade him with emotion." When Yun arrived, the emperor questioned her. Yun replied, "'Tell me who you know.' I know the people from my hometown. Your Majesty, please check whether they are competent for the job. If not, I will bear the consequences." After the inspection, all the people were appointed to the right positions, so Yun was released. Yun's clothes were worn out, so the emperor ordered him to be given new clothes. At first, when Yun was arrested, the whole family cried. Ruan's new wife said calmly, "Don't worry, he will be back soon." She prepared millet porridge and waited for him, and soon he arrived.
The Master said: “The benevolent is the model of the world; the righteous is the rule of the world; the retribution is the benefit of the world.” The Master said: “Repaying kindness with kindness will encourage the people; repaying grievances with grievances will punish the people. The Book of Songs says: ‘No words are not resentful, no virtue is not repaid.’ The Book of Taijia says: ‘Without the king, the people cannot be at peace; without the king, the four directions cannot be opened.’” The Master said: “Repaying grievances with kindness is benevolence of leniency; repaying kindness with grievances is punishment of the people.” The Master said: “The one who has no desires and likes kindness, and the one who has no fears and hates unkindness, is the only one in the world. Therefore, the gentleman discusses the way for himself and sets laws for the people.” The Master said: “There are three kinds of benevolence, the same merits as benevolence but different feelings. The same merits as benevolence, his benevolence cannot be known; the same faults as benevolence, then his benevolence can be known. The benevolent are at peace with benevolence, the wise are beneficial to benevolence, and the fearful are strong in benevolence. The benevolent are right, the righteous are left. The benevolent are human, the righteous are righteousness. Those who are thick in benevolence are thin in righteousness, they are close but not respected; those who are thick in righteousness are thin in benevolence, they are respected but not close. The righteousness has its ultimate, and the righteousness has its examination. The ultimate righteousness is the way to rule, the righteousness is the way to hegemony, and the examination of the righteousness is to make sure there is no error. ”
Grand Tutor Xie asked his sons and nephews, "Why do you want to make them good when you are involved in other people's affairs?" No one said anything. The charioteer answered, "It's like wanting orchids and jade trees to grow in the courtyard."
The prefect of Yingchuan was named Chen Zhonggong. A guest asked Yuan Fang, "What do you think of the governor?" Yuan Fang said, "He is a wise ruler." "What do you think of your master?" He said, "He is a loyal minister and a filial son." The guest said, "The Book of Changes says, 'Two people of one mind can cut through metal; words of one mind are as fragrant as orchids.' How could a wise ruler punish a loyal minister and a filial son?" Yuan Fang said, "What you said is so absurd! So I won't answer you." The guest said, "You are just trying to be respectful so I can't answer you." Yuan Fang said, "In the past, Emperor Gaozong exiled the filial son Xiaoji, Yin Jifu exiled the filial son Boqi, and Dong Zhongshu exiled the filial son Fuqi. Only these three rulers were wise rulers, and only these three sons were loyal ministers and filial sons." The guest left in shame.
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