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People with the same surname follow the clan and are of the same clan; people with different surnames follow the name and govern the society. Names are written, but men and women are different. If the husband belongs to the father's way, his wife is the mother's way; if the husband belongs to the son's way, his wife is the wife's way. If the brother's wife is called "wife", can the sister-in-law also be called "mother"? Name is the most important thing in human governance, so can we not be careful? After four generations, the mourning period is exhausted; after five generations, the same surname is killed. After six generations, the relatives are exhausted. The common surnames are distinguished at the top, and the relatives are at the bottom. Can marriages be allowed? They are tied by surnames and are not distinguished, and they are tied by food and are not different. Even if a hundred generations, marriages cannot be allowed, this is the way of Zhou.
When Yin Zhongkan was the governor of Jingzhou, there was a flood season and he usually ate only five bowls of food, with no other dishes. When rice grains fell on the plate or table, he would pick them up and eat them. Although we want to lead things, we must do so according to their true nature. I always tell my children, "Don't think that I am giving up my former ambitions because I have been appointed to a provincial post. It is not easy for me to be in this position now. Poverty is the norm for scholars. How can I climb the branch and abandon my roots? You should save it!"
Confucian scholars dress moderately, move cautiously, show slowness when they are big and false when they are small, show authority when they are big and shame when they are small, and they are difficult to advance and easy to retreat, and they are like incompetent. Their appearance is like this.
When Yu Zhigong was the governor of Jingzhou, he presented a feather fan to Emperor Wu. Emperor Wu suspected that it was an old item. Liu Shao, the imperial attendant, said: "When the cypress beams and clouds are constructed, the craftsmen are first placed under them; when the pipes and strings are playing, the bells and Kui are the first to hear the sounds. Zhigong presented the fan because it was good, not new." Empress Yu heard this and said: "This person should be by the emperor's side."
Xian Zi Suo said: "I heard that in ancient times, there was no decline, and the upper and lower classes each chose their relatives. Teng Bowen mourned for Menghu, his uncle; he mourned for Mengpi, his uncle." Hou Mu said: "Mourning, I heard from the county masters that mourning must be thought deeply and long, and the coffin should be changed inside and outside. I will do the same when I die." Zengzi said: "The corpse has not been decorated yet, so the hall is covered with curtains, and the burial is small and the curtains are clear." Zhongliangzi said: "The husband and wife are in chaos, so the hall is covered with curtains, and the burial is small and the curtains are clear." For the small burial, Ziyou said: "In the east." Zengzi said: "In the west, the mat is gathered." The small burial was in the west, which was a loss in the late Lu ritual. Xianzi said, "The mourning clothes and skirts are not ancient." Zi Pu died, and the weeping people cried out. Zi Gao said, "This is wild." The weeping people changed.
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