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As a son: While parents are still alive, your clothes do not have to be purely plain. There is an orphan in the room, and his hat and clothes are not of pure color.
Zhuge Liang was in Wu and attended a meeting in the court. Sun Hao asked: "Your name is Zhongsi, what do you think about?" He replied: "At home, I think about filial piety; when I serve my lord, I think about loyalty; when I am with my friends, I think about trustworthiness. That's all."
Duke Xi amassed a fortune of tens of millions. The guests had different opinions and often asked about it in the morning. Xi family rule: Children and grandchildren are not allowed to sit. As the conversation progressed, the subject turned to money and property. Xi Gong said, "You just want to get my money!" So he opened the treasury for one day and allowed the money to be used as desired. Xi Gongshi Zheng said that the loss was about several million. The distinguished guest then begged his relatives and friends for help that day and the matter was basically resolved. When Duke Xi heard this, he was so shocked and surprised that he could not stop.
The senior officials lower their concubines’ sons, and their grandchildren do not lower their fathers. Senior officials do not preside over the mourning of scholars. There is no mourning for the parents of the loving mother. If the husband is the descendant, his wife is the great merit of the uncle and aunt. If the scholar is buried with the senior officials, the sacrifice is changed. If the stepfather does not live with him, he must live with him once. There is no master descendant. Sharing wealth and offering sacrifices to the ancestors is considered living together; if there is a master descendant, it is considered living separately. Those who mourn for their friends should face south to the right outside the door. Those who are buried with their parents do not use divination to predict their house. Scholars and officials cannot be buried with princes. They can be buried with their grandfathers. For scholars and officials, their wives are buried with their aunts and grandparents, and their concubines are buried with their grandparents. If they die, the first and second sons can be buried with them. They must be buried according to the order of the ancestors. Princes cannot be buried with the emperor. The emperor, princes, and officials can be buried with scholars.
Confucius said: "How does an archer shoot? How does he listen? He who follows the sound and shoots without missing the target is only a virtuous man! How can an unworthy man hit the target?" The Book of Songs says: "Shoot what he has, in order to pray for your wine." Pray means to ask; to ask for the target and refuse the wine is to refuse the wine. Wine is used to nourish the elderly and to cure illness; to ask for the target and refuse the wine is to refuse nourishment.
To think about the constitution and seek the good is enough to be famous, but not enough to move the masses; to follow the virtuous and understand the distant is enough to move the masses, but not enough to transform the people. If a gentleman wants to transform the people and establish customs, he must learn!
When Mu Bo died, Jing Jiang cried during the day; when Wen Bo died, she cried day and night. Confucius said, "You know etiquette."
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