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Xu Xuandu said: "In Qin Fu, it is said that 'only those who are extremely refined can analyze the principles with him'. This is Liu Yin; and 'only those who are profound and calm can rest with him'. This is Jian Wen."
There are six ways to serve: one is to be close to relatives, two is to respect the elders, three is to name, four is to go in and out, five is to respect the elders, and six is to follow the service. There are six ways to serve: following relatives, following disciples, following with service but not with service, following without service but with service, following the heavy and then the light, and following the light and then the heavy.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Huan Xuan went to Yin in Jingzhou. Yin was sleeping during the day in his concubine's room, and his attendants refused to see him. When Queen Huan mentioned this, Yin said, "I didn't sleep at first. Even if there was this, wouldn't it be 'the virtuous can change the color'?"
Yang Sui's second son, Fu, was a talented young man. He was good friends with Xie Yishou and once went to Xie Yishou early in the morning to pay his respects, but had not yet eaten. Soon Wang Qi and Wang Du came. Since they had not known each other before, the king showed displeasure at the banquet and wanted to ask Yang to leave. The sheep did not look around, but only rested his feet on the table, looking around calmly. After Xie exchanged a few words with Wang, he turned to talk about the appreciation with Yang. Wang then realized what was so special and they joined him in talking. Soon the food was eaten, and the two kings were unable to eat, except for the sheep. The sheep did not respond much, but ate heartily, and then left after eating. Then he tried hard to keep him, but Yang Yi refused to stay and said, "I couldn't obey your order before, and China is still empty." The two kings were the two younger brothers of Xiaobo.
He Qiao was a very frugal person. His family had a lot of lychees that he liked. When Wang Wuzi asked for them, he gave him no more than a few dozen. Wang Wuzi, because he was honest, led the young men who could eat it, went to the garden with axes, and after they had eaten their fill, they chopped down the trees and sent a cartload of branches to Hegong. He asked, "How do you compare to me, Li?" After getting the answer, he just smiled.
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