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Confucians do not fall in poverty, do not bend in wealth, do not be ashamed of the king, do not burden the elders, and do not pity the officials, so they are called Confucians. Nowadays, people call them Confucians, which is absurd, and often criticize each other as Confucians. "
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Wang Zijing went from Kuaiji to Wu and heard that Gu Pijiang had a famous garden. I didn't recognize the host at first, so I went straight to his house, where I saw Gu gathering his guests and friends for a drunken feast. When the king finished his travels, he gave orders about his likes and dislikes as if no one was around. Gu was furious and said, "To be arrogant to the master is not polite; to be arrogant to others because of one's status is not the right way. If one loses these two, he is not worthy of being a human being and is a fool!" He then drove his attendants out of the door. The king turned around alone in the carriage, looked left and right, but saw no one coming. Then he ordered the chopsticks to be sent out the door, looking disdainful.
Zhuge Hui's eldest daughter married the son of Grand Marshal Yu Liang, and his second daughter married the son of Xuzhou Governor Yang Chen. Liangzi was killed by Su Jun, so he married Jiang Yu instead. Hui'er married Deng You's daughter. At that time, Shangshu Xie asked for his youngest daughter's marriage. Hui then said: "Yang and Deng have been married for generations. The Jiang family takes care of me, and the Yu family takes care of me. I cannot marry Xie Pei'er again." After Hui died, they got married. So Wang Youjun
Chen Taiqiu made an appointment with his friend to go out at noon. He did not arrive after passing the middle, so Taiqiu gave up. After he left, he arrived. Yuan Fang was seven years old at the time and was playing outside the door. The guest asked Yuan Fang, "Is your father here?" He replied, "I waited for you for a long time but you didn't come, so I left." His friend was angry and said, "What a cruel person! He made an appointment with someone and then left without saying goodbye." Yuan Fang said, "You made an appointment with my father at noon. If you don't come at noon, you are untrustworthy; if you scold your father in front of your son, you are rude." His friend was ashamed and got off the car to take him out. Yuan Fang walked in without paying any attention.
In the way of learning, it is difficult to have a strict teacher. Only when the teacher is strict can the way be respected, and only when the way is respected can the people know to respect learning. Therefore, there are two things that the ruler should not be a servant to his ministers: when they are corpses, they should not be a servant, and when they are teachers, they should not be a servant. The etiquette of the university, even if it is issued to the emperor, does not face north; this is to respect the teacher.
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