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After Jianwen died, Xiaowu, who was more than ten years old at the time, ascended the throne and did not come until nightfall. The left and right sides open with “respond as usual”. The emperor said: "When grief comes, weep. How can there be a constant?"
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
It is the festival of a boy. The black cloth clothes are brocade-edged, the brocade belt, and the button brocade, and the hair is all red brocade. Boys do not wear fur or silk, shoes or silk, and do not wear mourning clothes. Listening to affairs does not require hemp. If there is no business, he will stand to the north of the host and see the teacher enter with others. Those who serve food to the teacher with different titles will offer sacrifices later and eat first. When the guest offers sacrifices, the host declines and says, "It is not enough to offer sacrifices." When the guest eats, the host declines with a sparse. If the host prepares his own sauce, the guest will clean it himself. In a room, one person who is not a guest should clean up. In a meal, one person should clean up. In banquets, women should not clean up. When eating dates, peaches, and plums, do not take the core. When offering melons, throw away the rings in the middle of the food. Those who eat fruits should eat after the gentlemen, and those who light the fire should eat before the gentlemen. In celebrations, do not congratulate unless the king gives gifts. Confucius ate at Ji's house, and did not refuse. He did not eat meat and ate.
The so-called sincerity of intention is not to deceive oneself. If you hate bad smells and love beautiful women, this is called being modest. Therefore, a gentleman must be careful when he is alone. A villain does evil things when he is idle, and he does everything. When he sees a gentleman, he becomes disgusted, and hides his evil and shows his good. If people look at themselves as if they can see their lungs and livers, what good will it do? This is called sincerity in the heart, which is reflected in the outside, so a gentleman must be careful when he is alone. Zengzi said: "Ten eyes are watching, ten hands are pointing, how strict it is!" Wealth enriches the house, virtue enriches the body, and the heart is broad and the body is fat, so a gentleman must be sincere in his intentions.
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
Zhuge Liang was in Wu and attended a meeting in the court. Sun Hao asked: "Your name is Zhongsi, what do you think about?" He replied: "At home, I think about filial piety; when I serve my lord, I think about loyalty; when I am with my friends, I think about trustworthiness. That's all."
The so-called self-cultivation is to rectify one's heart. If one is angry, one cannot be rectified; if one is afraid, one cannot be rectified; if one is happy, one cannot be rectified; if one is worried, one cannot be rectified. If one's heart is not there, one will not see, hear, or taste. This is called self-cultivation is to rectify one's heart.
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