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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Zilu said, "I heard from the Master that in funeral rituals, it is better to have more mourning than not mourning. In sacrificial rituals, it is better to have more respect than not respect."
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
Xi Chao dealt with Fu Yuan, and Yuan saw that his two sons had their hair tied together. Chao observed it for a long time and said to Yuan, "The younger one is more talented and famous, but the one who can protect your family will ultimately depend on your brother." These are Fu Liang's brothers.
Ji Kang was seven feet and eight inches tall, with a very handsome appearance. Someone who saw it exclaimed, "It was solemn and clear, refreshing and clear." Someone else said, "It was solemn and clear, like the wind under a pine tree, high and slow." Shan Gong said, "Ji Shuye was a man who was as independent as a solitary pine tree; when he was drunk, he was like a jade mountain about to collapse."
Prime Minister Wang said: "I saw Xie Renzu sending someone to the throne. When he spoke to He Ci, he only raised his hand and pointed to the ground and said, 'It is from Er Xin!'"
Wang Dun led his troops to Daheng, and Emperor Ming came out of the central hall. Wen Qiao was the prefect of Danyang. The emperor ordered him to cut the big beam, but it was not cut yet. The emperor became furious and glared at him. Everyone around him was terrified. Summon all the gentlemen. When Qiao arrived, he did not thank him, but only asked for wine and roast meat. Wang Dao arrived in a moment, knelt barefoot on the ground and apologized, saying: "The majesty of Heaven is with Yan, so Wen Qiao has no time to apologize." Qiao then knelt down to apologize, and the emperor was relieved. Everyone admired the king's wise words.
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