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Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
The etiquette of being a minister: do not make public remonstrances. If you remonstrate three times and he does not listen, then flee.
Duke Huan said in his bed, "If I stay like this, I will be laughed at by Wen and Jing!" Then he sat up and said, "Since I cannot leave a good reputation for future generations, I am not worthy of being infamous for eternity, am I?"
Yang Changhe was knowledgeable, good at calligraphy, riding, shooting, and playing Go. Most of the descendants of Yang were knowledgeable in books, but they were not good at archery and chess.
Huannan County and Yin Jingzhou talked together and always attacked each other. After more than a year, it only happened once or twice. Huan lamented that his talent and ideas had declined. Yin Yun: "This is your interpretation."
The King of Liang and the King of Zhao were close relatives of the country and were highly respected at the time. Duke Pei Ling asked the two countries to pay millions of yuan in rent every year to help the poor among his relatives. Someone ridiculed him and said, "Why do you beg for things to do good?" Pei said, "To take away from the surplus and give to the deficiency is the way of heaven."
When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
For a man who is a son, the three gifts are not as great as a carriage and horses. Therefore, his neighbors praised him for his filial piety, his brothers and relatives praised him for his kindness, his colleagues praised him for his brotherly love, his friends praised him for his benevolence, and his acquaintances praised him for his trustworthiness. Seeing my father’s insistence, I dare not advance unless I am told to, I dare not retreat unless I am told to, and I dare not answer unless I am asked. This is the behavior of a filial son.
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