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Women who are not in mourning for three years should not go beyond their fiefdoms to offer condolences. If they are in mourning for three years, then the wife of the ruler will return home.
A gentleman is usually reserved. A gentleman is ashamed to prepare funeral supplies. A gentleman will not do anything that can be prepared in one or two days. In mourning clothes, the sons of brothers are treated as sons, and they should be welcomed and brought forward; the sisters-in-law and uncles have no mourning clothes, and they should be pushed away; the sisters-in-law and sisters are thin, and some people accept me and treat them well. Eating beside a mourning person, I have never been full.
Confucians have a palace of one acre, a room with round walls, a door with bamboo, a thatched door and a window with urns; they change their clothes and go out, and eat every day. They dare not doubt the emperor's answer, and dare not flatter the emperor's answer. They are like this in their official career.
Duke Ai asked Ru Bei to learn the funeral rites of scholars from Confucius, and the funeral rites of scholars were written there. Zigong watched the wax. Confucius asked, "Are you happy?" He replied, "All the people in the country are crazy, and I don't know how to be happy!" Confucius said, "A hundred days of wax and a day of radiance are not what you know. If you stretch without relaxing, civil and military officials cannot do it; if you relax without stretching, civil and military officials cannot do it. Tension and relaxation are the way of civil and military officials."
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Xun Minghe and Lu Shilong had not met each other before, and both met Zhang Maoxian and sat down. Zhang Ling spoke together. Since he has great talent, we should not treat him as an ordinary person. Lu raised his hand and said, "The cloud is Lu Shilong." Xun replied, "Xun Minghe is under the sun." Lu said, "Now that you have seen the white pheasant through the blue sky, why don't you draw your bow and shoot arrows?" Xun replied, "I thought the cloud dragon was strong, it must be a mountain deer or wild elk. The beast is weak and the crossbow is strong, so the shot is slow." Zhang clapped his hands and laughed.
Before Meng Chang arrived, his home was in Jingkou. I once saw Wang Gong riding in a high carriage, wearing a crane fur cloak. It was snowing lightly at the time, and Chang peeked at him from between the fences and exclaimed, "This is truly an immortal!"
When a dog Zhongni kept died, he asked Zigong to bury it, saying, "I have heard that if you do not discard an old curtain, you will bury the horse; if you do not discard an old cover, you will bury the dog. I am poor and have no cover; I also gave him a mat at his fiefdom so that his head would not be sunk."
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