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Ruan Ji's sister-in-law once came back home, and Ji saw her and said goodbye to her. Or ridicule it. Ji said, "Is the etiquette designed for people like us?"
Ji Kang and Lu Anshan were good friends. Whenever they missed each other, they would travel thousands of miles together. An came later, and when Kang was not at home, he was happy to go out and invite him in, but he did not come in. He wrote the word "Phoenix" on the door and left. I was happy without realizing it, but I still thought I was happy, so I pretended to be happy. The word "Phoenix" means any bird.
Bo Gao died in Wei and went to Confucius. Confucius said: "Why should I cry? For my brothers, I cry in the temple; for my father's friends, I cry outside the temple gate; for my teacher, I cry in the bedroom; for my friends, I cry outside the bedroom door; for my acquaintances, I cry in the wild. In the wild, it is already distant; in the bedroom, it is already important. Since You Ci came to see me, I cried to Ci's family." Then he ordered Zigong to be the host and said: "If you come to cry for you, bow to him; if you know that Bo Gao came, don't bow."
When you first meet a gentleman, you say, "I really want to be known by the general." You cannot get in touch with the master. The enemy says, "I really want to see you." If you rarely meet him, you say, "I have heard of you." If you meet him quickly, you say, "I have seen you every morning and evening." The blind say, "I have heard of you." If someone is in mourning, you say, "I will see you soon." A boy says, "I will listen to the affairs." If you are in mourning for a minister, you say, "I will listen to the servants of the Minister of Education." If the king is going to marry someone else, if the minister gives gold, jade, and other valuables to the king, he says, "Give money for horses to the officials"; the enemy says, "Give gifts to the attendants." If the minister gives a gift to the king, he says, "Give old clothes to the merchant"; the enemy says, "The 襚." If the relatives are brothers, they will not be promoted with the 襚. The minister serves the king.
. When parents grow old, they should not change their ways and should not be late. When parents are sick and look pale, this is the filial son's indifference. When a father dies and one cannot read his books, the traces of his hand remain; when a mother dies and one cannot drink from the cup, the traces of her mouth remain.
Wang Chuzhong was a man of noble character, but he indulged himself in lust, which damaged his body. The people around him advised him against it, but Chu Zhong said, "I just didn't realize it. It's so easy to do this!" So he opened the gate of the rear gate and drove dozens of maids and concubines out, letting them go wherever they wanted. People at that time sighed at this.
A woman shall be buried with her great-grandmother. If there are three great-grandmothers, she shall be buried with the close ones. If the wife is a senior official and dies, and then her husband is no longer a senior official, but is buried with her wife, the sacrifice should not be changed; if the wife dies and then the husband is a senior official, and is buried with his wife, the sacrifice should be that of a senior official. A descendant of a father does not wear mourning clothes for his mother. The reason for not wearing mourning clothes is that the mourner does not offer sacrifices. A woman who is not the master and is caned: the aunt is caned for the husband, and the mother is caned for the eldest son. A daughter's son is in the house for the parents, and the master of the mourning does not wear a cane, then the son alone can be caned.
The way of heaven is the highest teaching, and the sage is the highest virtue. Above the temple hall, the Lei Zun is in the east, and the Xi Zun is in the west. Below the temple hall, the Xian Gu is in the west, and the Ying Gu is in the east. The king is in the east, and the lady is in the room. The sun is born in the east, and the moon is born in the west. This is the division of yin and yang, and the position of husband and wife. The king drinks from the Xi Xiang in the west, and the lady drinks from the Lei Zun in the east. The interaction of rituals moves above, and the interaction of music responds to below, which is the ultimate harmony. Rituals are to reflect what they are born from; music is to enjoy what they are made from. Therefore, the ancient kings established rituals to regulate affairs and cultivate music to guide their will. Therefore, by observing their rituals and music, we can know whether they are in order or not. Qu Boyu said: "A gentleman is a man of great ability, so by observing his utensils, we can know his skill; by observing his hair, we can know his wisdom." Therefore, it is said: "A gentleman is careful about what he gives to others."
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