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Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
When Emperor Xiaowu of Jin was twelve years old, it was winter. He did not change his clothes during the day, but only wore five or six layers of single cotton clothes, and slept on a mat at night. Xie Gong advised, "Your Majesty's body should be kept in a regular state. Your Majesty is too cold during the day and too hot at night. I'm afraid this is not the right way to keep healthy." The emperor said, "Be active during the day and quiet at night." Xie Gong left and sighed, "You are no less rational than the previous emperor."
When Zi Liu's mother died, Zi Shuo asked for a feast. Zi Liu asked, "Why?" Zi Shuo said, "Please give porridge to my half brother's mother." Zi Liu said, "How can you bury your mother with porridge for someone else's mother? No." After the funeral, Zi Shuo wanted to use the remaining cloth to prepare the sacrificial utensils. Zi Liu said, "No, I have heard that a gentleman should not stay at home during a funeral. Please arrange for the poor among your brothers." The gentleman said, "If you plan for someone's military advisor, you will die; if you plan for someone's state, you will be destroyed." Gongshu Wenzi ascended to Xiaqiu, and Qu Boyu followed him. Wenzi said, "How happy this hill is. I want to be buried there when I die." Qu Boyu said, "If you are happy, then Yuan will come forward."
Why do people wear mourning clothes and wear hemp clothes? Hemp means an ugly appearance, so that the head is covered inside and can be seen outside. The appearance of mourning clothes is like hemp, the appearance of mourning clothes is like hemp, the appearance of mourning clothes for the great merit is like stopping, and the appearance of mourning clothes for the small merit and the mourning clothes is acceptable. This is the expression of sorrow in the face and body.
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