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Zengzi and his guests stood by the door, and his followers hurried out. Zengzi asked, "Where are you going?" He said, "My father died, and I will go out to cry in the alley." He said, "I will go back and cry next to you." Zengzi faced north and mourned.
The gentleman does not associate with the evil. The princes lose their land, and the name; the same surname is destroyed, and the name.
The son of Yang from Liang State, nine years old, is very intelligent. Kong Junping went to see his father, but his father was not at home, so he called his son out and set out fruit for him. Among the fruits there was bayberry, and Confucius pointed to it and said to the child, "This is the fruit from your home." The child replied immediately, "I have never heard that peacocks are your home poultry."
In mourning of parents, after the funeral, one should cry for the deceased, eat simple food and drink water, and not eat vegetables and fruits; in the time of the minor auspiciousness, one should eat vegetables and fruits; in the time of the major auspiciousness, one should eat soy sauce; in the middle of the month, one should mourn, and drink sweet wine during the mourning. Those who start drinking should drink sweet wine first. Those who start eating meat should eat dried meat first. In the case of parents' funeral, people live in a lean-to house, sleep on straw and a block of pillow, and do not wear mourning clothes; in the case of mourning of the first mourning period, people live in a whitened room, and do not wear sackcloth or bees; in the case of mourning of the second mourning period, people sleep on mats, and in the case of mourning of the third mourning period, people wear hemp and a bed. This is the way that grief is expressed in the place where one lives.
Wang Zijing asked Xie Gong: "How does Lin Gong compare to Yu Gong?" Xie Shu refused and replied: "The predecessors did not talk about it at first. Yu Gong is more than Lin Gong."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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