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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Eat for three days, bathe for three months, and practice after a period of time, so that destruction does not destroy nature, and death does not hurt life. Mourning does not exceed three years, and mourning clothes do not repair, and graves are not built; on auspicious days, white harps are played to inform the people of the end; this is a rule of moderation. From serving the father to serving the mother, and love the same. There is no two suns in the sky, no two kings on earth, no two rulers in a country, no two masters in a family, and they are all governed by one. Therefore, when the father is alive, the mother should mourn for the same period of mourning, which shows that there is no two masters.
Wang Ningzhi thanked his wife for going to the Wang family and looked down upon him. Now that I have returned to the Xie family, I feel very sorry for you. The Grand Tutor comforted him and said, "Wang Lang is the son of Yi Shao. He is not a bad person. Why do you hate him?" He replied, "Among my uncles, there are A Da and Zhong Lang. Among my brothers, there are Feng, Hu, E and Mo. I never expected that there would be Wang Lang in this world!"
Duke Xi amassed a fortune of tens of millions. The guests had different opinions and often asked about it in the morning. Xi family rule: Children and grandchildren are not allowed to sit. As the conversation progressed, the subject turned to money and property. Xi Gong said, "You just want to get my money!" So he opened the treasury for one day and allowed the money to be used as desired. Xi Gongshi Zheng said that the loss was about several million. The distinguished guest then begged his relatives and friends for help that day and the matter was basically resolved. When Duke Xi heard this, he was so shocked and surprised that he could not stop.
Duke Huan asked Kong Xiyang, "How is Anshi compared to Zhongwen?" Kong Xiyang did not answer, but asked the Duke, "How?" He replied, "Anshi is superior because no one can surpass him, so he is superior."
The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
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