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When Kong Junping was seriously ill, Yu Sikong was sent to Kuaiji to visit him. He asked him about his condition and even shed tears. After Yu got off the bed, Kong said with a sigh: "A real man is about to die, but instead of asking about the way to keep the country and the family safe, he pretends to be a child and asks!" When Yu heard this, he thanked him and asked him to talk.
In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
When the guest asked Yue Ling about the "meaning not being reached", Yue Ling did not analyze the words, but just used the handle of the fly whisk to confirm the meaning and asked, "Is it reached?" The guest said, "Yes!" Yue Ling then raised the fly whisk again and said, "If it was reached, how could it be removed?" Then the guest understood and was convinced. Musical words that are concise but convey the meaning are all of this type.
When Zuo Taichong first completed his "San Du Fu", people at that time ridiculed him and he was not satisfied. Later showed it to Mr. Zhang. Zhang said, "These two capitals can be three, but your literary talent is not well-respected in the world, so it is better to find a scholar with high reputation." Si then consulted Huangfu Mi. Mi sighed when he saw it, and then wrote a preface for it. As a result, all those who were not disloyal to the previous prime minister bowed their heads and praised him.
When Lu Wan was appointed Sikong, someone came to him and asked for good wine. When he got it, he stood up, dropped his chopsticks on the ground between the beams and pillars, and said, "There is a lack of talent in the world, so I use you as a pillar. Please don't destroy the pillars of others." He joked, "I will take your good advice."
The host personally invites the guests to the door, and the guests follow him. As for the door, the host bows to the guests and the door, and the guests enter by themselves; the distinction between noble and humble is made. Three bows to the steps, three concessions to the guests, bowing to the door, offering, paying, and refusing are complicated. The door is simple. As for the guests ascending to receive, sitting to offer, standing to drink. No toasts and descending; the distinction between high and low is made.
During the funeral of Duke Dao, Ji Zhaozi asked Meng Jingzi, "What should the monarch eat?" Jingzi said, "Eating porridge is the most common etiquette in the world. The fact that we three ministers cannot live in the public office has been heard by everyone in the four directions. If I try hard to be poor, then I can do it. Wouldn't it make people suspect that I live in poor conditions without emotion? I will eat."
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