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In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
When Chen Yuanfang lost his father, he cried and mourned until his body became emaciated. His mother felt sorry for him and secretly covered him with a brocade quilt. Guo Linzong came to express his condolences and saw him, and said to him, "You are a talented person in the country, and a role model for the whole country. How can you mourn with a brocade quilt covering you? Confucius said, 'To wear brocade and to eat rice, what good will it do you?' I will not accept it!" He threw away his clothes and left. From then on, no guests came for a hundred days.
Zi Zhang died, Zengzi had his mother's death; he went to cry in the mourning at the age of 18. Someone said: "You can't mourn at the age of 18." Zengzi said: "Why should I mourn?" At the death of Youruo, Duke Dao went to mourn, and Ziyou went from the left. At the death of Qi Gu Wang Ji, Duke Zhuang of Lu made great contributions. Some said, "She was married by Lu, so she should wear the mourning clothes of a sister." Some said, "She is my grandmother, so she should wear the mourning clothes."
After the Duke of Yin was deposed, Duke Huan said to his people, "When I was young, I rode a bamboo horse with Yuanyuan. I abandoned it, and you took it. Therefore, you should be inferior to me."
Confucians have the same aspirations and the same principles. They are happy to be together and never get tired of each other. They do not believe rumors when they have not seen each other for a long time. They act according to their principles and establish righteousness. They advance when they are together and retreat when they are different. This is their friendship.
Zhong Yu and Zhong Hui were well-known since they were young. When he was thirteen years old, Emperor Wen of Wei heard about it and said to his father Zhong Yao, "You can order the two sons to come." So he ordered an audience with him. Yu's face was sweating. The emperor asked, "Why is your face sweating?" Yu replied, "I am trembling with fear and sweating like pulp." The emperor asked Hui again, "Why are you not sweating?" Hui replied, "I am trembling with fear and sweating like pulp."
Minister Xi and Mr. Xie were on good terms. He often said: "Xie Qingxu's knowledge and insights are not without peer, but they can make you feel exhausted."
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