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Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
Duke Ai asked Ru Bei to learn the funeral rites of scholars from Confucius, and the funeral rites of scholars were written there. Zigong watched the wax. Confucius asked, "Are you happy?" He replied, "All the people in the country are crazy, and I don't know how to be happy!" Confucius said, "A hundred days of wax and a day of radiance are not what you know. If you stretch without relaxing, civil and military officials cannot do it; if you relax without stretching, civil and military officials cannot do it. Tension and relaxation are the way of civil and military officials."
After Duke Huan abolished Haixi and established Jianwen, the attendant Xie Gong met Duke Huan and paid homage to him. Huan was surprised and laughed, "Anshi, what brings you here?" Xie replied, "I have never seen a king bow before me and a minister stand behind me!"
When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
When Wang Rong was seven years old, he used to play with other children. Look at the roadside plum trees with many fruits on their branches. All the children rushed to get it, but Rong did not move. When people asked him about it, he replied, "The tree grows by the road and has many fruits. It must be bitter plums." I picked them and found them to be true.
Xu Xuandu stayed in the capital for a month, and Liu Yin went to see him every day. He sighed and said, "If you don't go again for a while, I will become a frivolous Yin!"
When Zhou Chu was young, he was fierce and chivalrous, and was feared by his fellow villagers. There was also a dragon in the water of Yixing and a tiger in the mountains. They both violently attacked the common people. The people of Yixing called them the Three Horizons and treated them particularly badly. Some say that he killed the tiger and slashed the dragon, but in fact he hoped that only one of the three would remain. He would stab a tiger to death wherever he went, and then go into the water to kill a dragon. The dragon would sometimes float up and sometimes sink, and he would travel for dozens of miles, staying with it wherever it went. After three days and three nights, everyone in the village believed that the dragon was dead, and they celebrated together. They finally killed the dragon and got out. When I heard the villagers celebrating, I realized that I was suffering from the ills of human nature and I decided to change myself. He went from Wu to look for the two Lu brothers, but Pingyuan was not there. He met Qinghe and told him the whole situation, saying, "I want to change myself, but I have wasted years and will never achieve anything." Qinghe said, "The ancients valued hearing their achievements in the morning rather than dying in the evening. Besides, you still have a good future. Besides, people worry about not having their ambitions established, so why worry about not having a good reputation?" Chu then changed himself and eventually became a loyal minister and a filial son.
Wang Yifu once was assigned to work by a clan member, but he hadn't done anything for some time. When they were having a feast, Wang Yifu said to the clan member, "You are assigned to work for an elder recently, so how can you not do it?" The clan member got very angry and threw a stick in his face. Yi Fu was speechless. After washing up, he took Prime Minister Wang's arm and was carried away together. He looked in the mirror in the carriage and said to the Prime Minister: "The way you look at me is like looking at an ox's back."
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