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Confucian scholars dress moderately, move cautiously, show slowness when they are big and false when they are small, show authority when they are big and shame when they are small, and they are difficult to advance and easy to retreat, and they are like incompetent. Their appearance is like this.
Duke Xian of Jin died, Duke Mu of Qin sent people to offer condolences to Prince Chong'er, and said, "I have heard that the loss of a country is always here, and the recovery of a country is always here. Although my son is in mourning, the mourning cannot be too long, and the time cannot be lost. You should plan it." He told his uncle Fan, who said, "You should refuse it. A bereaved person has no treasure, but a loving relative is a treasure. What is the point of the father's death? And you think it is profitable, but who in the world can persuade you? You should refuse it." Prince Chong'er said to the guests, "You are kind enough to offer condolences to the deceased minister Chong'er. I lost my father myself, but I cannot cry with you and grieve for you. What is the point of the father's death? If someone dares to have other intentions, it will insult your righteousness." He bowed his head without kneeling, and stood up after crying, but did not hesitate. Zi Xian told Duke Mu of Qin about his death. Duke Mu said, "The benevolent Prince Chong'er! If you bow your head but don't kowtow, you are not yet the heir, so you can't kowtow; if you cry and then get up, you love your father; if you get up without selfishness, you are looking for benefits."
When Du Qiao's mother died, there was no one in the palace, thinking it was a traitor. Confucius said, "When she died, she wore lamb fur and black hat, just change it." The Confucius did not mourn for lamb fur and black hat.
Duke Ai wanted to set up a "bo" for the funeral of Ru Zi Yu, and asked Youruo. Youruo said: "It's OK. Your three ministers also set up a "bo"." Yan Liu said: "The emperor rides a dragon carriage and a coffin curtain, and the princes ride a carriage and set up a curtain - the "bo" was set up for Yu Shen; the three ministers abandoned the carriage and set up a "bo", which is not in accordance with etiquette. Why do you learn from it!"
The so-called peace in the world is to govern the country, when the ruler respects the elders, the people will be filial, when the ruler respects the elders, the people will be younger brothers, when the ruler cares for the orphans, the people will not betray him, so the gentleman has the way of the square. What you hate in the superior, do not use it to command the inferior, what you hate in the inferior, do not use it to serve the superior; what you hate in the front, do not use it before and after; what you hate in the back, do not use it to follow the front; what you hate in the right, do not use it to associate with the left; what you hate in the left, do not use it to associate with the right; this is called the way of the square. The Book of Songs says: "The happy gentleman is the parent of the people." What the people like, he likes, and what the people hate, he hates. This is called the parent of the people. The Book of Songs says: "The southern mountain is rocky. The great teacher Yin, the people look up to you." Those who have a country must be cautious, otherwise they will be humiliated by the world. The Book of Songs says: "Before the Yin lost its teacher, it could match the God. Yi Jian was in Yin, and the strict mandate was not changed. "If you win the support of the people, you will win the country; if you lose the support of the people, you will lose the country.
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