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When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.

There is a proverb: "The leader in the future will be Pei Xiu."

In the Taimiao, there is respect! The king personally leads the sacrifice, and the officials praise and follow. The king personally makes sacrifices, and the lady offers the bowl. The king personally cuts the sacrifice, and the lady offers wine. The ministers and the great officials follow the lord, and the women of the court follow the wives. They are respectful and loyal, and they are eager to receive the feast. The offering of animals is reported in the courtyard, the blood and hair are reported in the room, and the soup is reported in the hall. The three reports are not in the same position, which is probably because they have sought but not obtained them. The sacrifice is set up in the hall, and the sacrifice is made outside, so it is said: "Is it there? Is it here?" One is to offer a pledge, three is to offer a text, five is to offer a review, and seven is to offer a god. The feast is for the king! The three animals, fish and meat are the delicacies of the four seas and nine states; the offerings of the dishes are the harmony of the four seasons. The gold inside is to show harmony. The bundle of silk and the jade disk are to honor virtue. The tortoise is in the front, which is to predict the future. The gold is next, which is to show affection. The red lacquer, silk, bamboo and arrows are to share the wealth with the people. The rest are not regular goods, and each country has what it has, so it is to bring distant things. When it goes out, it is sent in the summer, which is probably a heavy ceremony. Sacrificing to the emperor in the suburbs is the utmost respect. The sacrifice in the ancestral temple is the highest level of benevolence. The funeral is the highest level of loyalty. The preparation of clothing and utensils is the highest level of benevolence. The use of money by guests is the highest level of righteousness. Therefore, if a gentleman wants to observe the way of benevolence and righteousness, etiquette is the root.

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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.

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