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Men and women do not know each other without a matchmaker; they do not interact or get close to each other without money. Therefore, the sun and the moon are used to inform the king, and all warnings are used to inform the ghosts and gods. Wine and food are prepared to invite neighbors and colleagues to show their respect.
When Kong Wenju was ten years old, he went to Luo with his father. At that time, Li Yuanli was famous and served as the Inspector of the Capital Region. Only those with outstanding talents and reputation, as well as those who were his cousins, were allowed to visit him. When Wen Ju arrived at the gate, he said to the clerk, "I am the relative of Lord Li." After being let in, he sat down in front. Yuanli asked, "What is the relationship between you and me?" He replied, "In the past, my ancestor Confucius and your ancestor Boyang had a teacher-student relationship. So you and I have been friends for generations." Yuanli and the guests were all surprised. When Taizhong Daifu Chen Wei arrived later, people told him the same words. Wei said, “A child who is very smart when he is young may not be a good person when he grows up!” Wen Ju said, “I think you must have been very smart when you were young!” Wei was very embarrassed.
The woman next door to Mr. Ruan was very beautiful and she sold wine at the wine shop. Ruan and Wang Anfeng often drank with the woman. When Ruan was drunk, he slept beside the woman. I was suspicious at first, but after careful observation, I found that he had no other intention.
The way of heaven is the highest teaching, and the sage is the highest virtue. Above the temple hall, the Lei Zun is in the east, and the Xi Zun is in the west. Below the temple hall, the Xian Gu is in the west, and the Ying Gu is in the east. The king is in the east, and the lady is in the room. The sun is born in the east, and the moon is born in the west. This is the division of yin and yang, and the position of husband and wife. The king drinks from the Xi Xiang in the west, and the lady drinks from the Lei Zun in the east. The interaction of rituals moves above, and the interaction of music responds to below, which is the ultimate harmony. Rituals are to reflect what they are born from; music is to enjoy what they are made from. Therefore, the ancient kings established rituals to regulate affairs and cultivate music to guide their will. Therefore, by observing their rituals and music, we can know whether they are in order or not. Qu Boyu said: "A gentleman is a man of great ability, so by observing his utensils, we can know his skill; by observing his hair, we can know his wisdom." Therefore, it is said: "A gentleman is careful about what he gives to others."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Meng Xianzi said, "On the first day of the first month, you can do things to the God; on the seventh day of the seventh month, you can do things to the ancestors." The seventh month is the day of sacrifice, and Xianzi did it. The wife did not ask the emperor for a favor, starting from Duke Zhao of Lu. The wife of the king in the outer clan is the same as the inner clan.
Wang Ziyou served as a military officer under Huan's chariot and cavalry. Huan said to the king, "You have been in the government for a long time. You should take care of things for me." He did not answer at first, but looked up, supported his cheek with his hand and said, "The west mountain has a refreshing breeze this morning."
When Jianwen was Fujun, he once went to the court with Huan Xuanwu, and they took turns to let each other sit in front. Xuanwu had no choice but to go ahead, so he said: "Bo also holds the spear and drives ahead for the king." Jianwen said: "It is said that 'no matter how small or big, follow the king in his march'."
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