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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Ji Wuzi finished his bed, he found that Du Shi’s burial was under the west steps, and he asked for joint burial there, and he agreed. He entered the palace but did not dare to cry. Wuzi said, “Joint burial is not an ancient practice. It has not been changed since the time of Duke Zhou. I allow the big but not the small, why?” He ordered him to cry.
Zhu Jiye said to Sun Anguo: "The knowledge of northerners is profound, comprehensive and extensive." Sun replied: "The knowledge of southerners is clear, concise and concise." Zhi Daoling heard this and said: "The sages have forgotten the words. Since the middle people, northerners read books like looking at the moon in the open air; southerners' knowledge is like peeping at the sun through a window."
When Kong Wenju was ten years old, he went to Luo with his father. At that time, Li Yuanli was famous and served as the Inspector of the Capital Region. Only those with outstanding talents and reputation, as well as those who were his cousins, were allowed to visit him. When Wen Ju arrived at the gate, he said to the clerk, "I am the relative of Lord Li." After being let in, he sat down in front. Yuanli asked, "What is the relationship between you and me?" He replied, "In the past, my ancestor Confucius and your ancestor Boyang had a teacher-student relationship. So you and I have been friends for generations." Yuanli and the guests were all surprised. When Taizhong Daifu Chen Wei arrived later, people told him the same words. Wei said, “A child who is very smart when he is young may not be a good person when he grows up!” Wen Ju said, “I think you must have been very smart when you were young!” Wei was very embarrassed.
The lowly should not mourn the noble, the young should not mourn the old, this is the etiquette. Only the emperor should be mourned by calling the heaven. The princes mourning each other is not etiquette.
There was a great famine in Qi, and Qian Ao prepared food on the road for the hungry to eat. A hungry man came in a hurry with his sleeves and shoes covered. Qian Ao held food in his left hand and drink in his right hand, saying, "Come and eat." He looked at him with his eyes wide open, and said, "I only don't eat food brought by whining, so I have come to this." Then he thanked him; he died without eating. Zengzi heard about it and said, "Is it not true? His whining can be left, and his apology can be eaten."
Huan Xuanwu was born into a poor family. He lost a lot in a game of chess. His creditors demanded a lot of money from him. He wanted to find a way to get back on his feet, but he didn't know where to start. Yuan Dan of Chen County was handsome and versatile. Xuanwu wanted to ask for help from Dan, but Dan was in a difficult situation at the time and he was afraid that he would be suspected, so he tried to tell him. He agreed immediately without any regret. So he changed his clothes, put on a cloth hat and followed Wen, playing with his creditor. Tan had always been famous for his fine art, so the creditor came to the chessboard and said, "Why don't you do something like Yuan Yandao?" Then they started to play together. A throw of one hundred thousand can easily add up to millions. He threw his horse aside and shouted, as if no one was around. He raised his cloth cap and threw it to the man and said, "Do you know Yuan Yandao?"
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