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Zixia asked Confucius, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my parents?" Confucius said, "Sleep on straw and use dry wood as pillow, do not serve in the government, and do not share the world with them; if you meet them in the market, do not fight with them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my brothers?" Confucius said, "Serve in the government and do not share the country with them; if I am sent by the king, I will not fight with them even if I meet them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my uncle and brothers?" Confucius said, "If I am not the leader, if the host is capable, I will hold the weapon and accompany them behind."

What is the three-year mourning period? It is said that it is to be established according to the feelings, so as to decorate the group, distinguish the relatives and the relatives, and practice the rules, but it cannot be increased or decreased. Therefore, it is said that there is no way to change. The wound is big and the time is long, and the pain is severe and the recovery is slow. The three-year mourning period is established according to the feelings, so as to be the most painful. Cutting the mourning clothes and wearing a stick, living in a lean-to, eating porridge, sleeping on straw and pillows, is to decorate the most painful. The three-year mourning period ends in twenty-five months; the grief is not over, the longing is not forgotten, but the mourning is ended in this way. Isn’t it that there is a limit to sending off the dead and a limit to reviving the living? All living creatures between heaven and earth, with blood and breath, must have knowledge, and all sentient creatures know how to love their own kind. Now, if a large bird or beast loses its flock, after a month or more, it will return to its hometown, fly back and forth, cry, hesitate, and then leave. Even small birds, such as sparrows, still chirp for a while before leaving. Therefore, no one with blood and breath knows better than humans, so humans love their relatives until death. If you are with a person who is obsessed with adultery, he will forget about his death in the morning and follow him in the evening, which is no better than birds and beasts. How can they live together without chaos? If you are with a gentleman who is well-mannered, the three-year mourning period will be completed in twenty-five months, like a team of horses passing through a gap, but it will continue, which is endless. Therefore, the ancient kings set up the middle and set rules for them, so that they can form a culture and reason, and then they will let it go.

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