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When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
When serving food to elders, if the host serves the food personally, then one should bow before eating; if the host does not serve the food personally, then one should eat without bowing.
Zhang Zhan liked to plant pine and cypress trees in front of his study. Whenever Yuan Shansong went out for a trip, he would always ask his attendants to compose elegies. People at that time said, "The body was laid out under Zhang's house, and the funeral was held on Yuan's road."
Whenever guests enter, each door should be opened to the guests. When the guest arrives at the bedroom door, the host invites him in and takes a seat, and then goes out to greet the guest. The guest insisted on declining, and the host invited him in. The host enters on the right, and the guest enters on the left. The host goes up the east steps, the guest goes up the west steps. If the guest wants to lower his status, he goes up the host's steps. The host firmly declined, and then the guest returned to the west steps. The host and the guest give way to each other and the host goes up first, followed by the guest, climbing up the steps together and walking up in succession. When going up the east steps, put your right foot first; when going up the west steps, put your left foot first.
Before the Duke of Haixi was deposed, Wang Yuanlin asked Huan Yuanzi, "Ji Zi and Bi Gan have different deeds but the same heart. I wonder who is right and who is wrong, you sir?" He replied, "The reputation of benevolence is the same. I would rather be like Guan Zhong."
Chen Taiqiu made an appointment with his friend to go out at noon. He did not arrive after passing the middle, so Taiqiu gave up. After he left, he arrived. Yuan Fang was seven years old at the time and was playing outside the door. The guest asked Yuan Fang, "Is your father here?" He replied, "I waited for you for a long time but you didn't come, so I left." His friend was angry and said, "What a cruel person! He made an appointment with someone and then left without saying goodbye." Yuan Fang said, "You made an appointment with my father at noon. If you don't come at noon, you are untrustworthy; if you scold your father in front of your son, you are rude." His friend was ashamed and got off the car to take him out. Yuan Fang walked in without paying any attention.
When Du Yu arrived in Jingzhou, he stopped at Qili Bridge and all the court officials came to pay their respects to him. When he was young, he was humble, fond of heroism, and was not satisfied with material things. Since Yang Ji was a famous figure, he was so brave and handsome that he left without sitting down. After a while, He Changyu came and asked, "Where is Yang Youwei?" The guest answered, "He left without sitting down just now." Changyu said, "He must be riding his horse under the Daya Gate." When they went to the Daya Gate, they indeed saw a large cavalry parade. The long carriage embraced the inner carriage and they were carried back together, and they sat as before.
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