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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
During the funeral of Confucius, his disciples wondered what to wear. Zigong said, "In the past, when the Master mourned Yan Yuan, he did not wear any clothes as if he had mourned his son; and he did the same when he mourned his son Lu. Please mourn the Master as if you had mourned your father and do not wear any clothes."
If you follow the elder up the hill, you must be where the elder is watching.
When Liu Daozhen was young, he often fished in the marshes. He was good at singing and whistling, and everyone who heard him would linger. There was an old woman who recognized that he was not an ordinary person and was very pleased with his singing and whistling, so she killed a pig and presented it to him. Daozhen ate all the pork and didn't even thank him. Seeing that she was not full, the old woman offered another piece of pork, ate half and the rest, and then returned it. Later he became a Lang of the Ministry of Personnel, and the old woman became a Xiao Lingshi, and Daozhen made great use of her. He didn't know why, so he asked his mother, and his mother told him. So he brought an ox and some wine to Daozhen, who said, "Go away! Go away! I have nothing to offer you."
They seek but cannot find him, they enter the door but cannot see him, they go up to the hall but cannot see him, they enter the room but cannot see him. He is gone, he is dead! He can never be seen again! Therefore, they cry and dance, and stop when they have exhausted their grief. Their hearts are sad and sorrowful, they are confused and angry, their hearts are broken and their wills are sad. They offer sacrifices to the ancestral temples and offer sacrifices to the ghosts, hoping that they will return.
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