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When Zigong asked about mourning, Confucius said, "Respect is the best, grief is the next, and thinness is the worst. The color of the face reflects the feelings; the sorrowful expression reflects the clothes." When asked about the mourning of brothers, Confucius said, "The mourning of brothers is recorded in the books and strategies. "A gentleman does not take away the mourning of others, nor should he take away his own mourning. Confucius said: "Shaolian and Dalian are good at mourning. They do not get tired for three days and do not stop for three months. They are sad for a long time and worried for three years. They are the sons of Dongyi. ”
The body, offerings and food all have different levels, so as to distinguish the noble from the humble.
After Su Zigao's incident was settled, Lords Wang and Yu wanted to appoint Kong Tingwei as the governor of Danyang. After the chaos, the people were in poverty. Kong said with a sigh, "When Emperor Suzong was dying, you all personally ascended the imperial bed and were recognized by him, and followed his will. I am a distant and lowly person, and I am not among those who were there to take charge of the affairs of the state. When times were tough, you put me first. Now I am just rotten meat on the table, waiting to be chopped up by anyone!" Then he left, and the other gentlemen also stopped.
Taoist Lin went to see Mr. Xie. He was a child in Dongyang. He had just recovered from an illness and was not yet able to bear the hard work. After discussing with Mr. Lin, they ended up quarreling with each other. His mother, Lady Wang, listened to it from behind the wall, and then sent another letter ordering him to return, but the Grand Tutor kept him. Mrs. Wang then went out and said, "My new wife suffered a family tragedy when she was young. This child is all I have for my life." She burst into tears and took the child home. Mr. Xie said to his companions, "My sister-in-law's speech was so passionate and impressive that it is worthy of being passed down. I regret that I did not allow the officials to see it."
The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
Zhuge Liang was in Wu and attended a meeting in the court. Sun Hao asked: "Your name is Zhongsi, what do you think about?" He replied: "At home, I think about filial piety; when I serve my lord, I think about loyalty; when I am with my friends, I think about trustworthiness. That's all."
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