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When mourning clothes are worn, the crying is like going out but not turning back; the crying of mourning clothes is like going out and turning back; the crying of mourning clothes for the great merit is three bends and then folded; the mourning clothes for the small merit and the mourning clothes are acceptable. This is the expression of sorrow in the voice.
In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
Xiang Xiong was the chief clerk of Henei. There were official matters that were not as good as his, and the prefect Liu Huai was furious, so he beat Xiang Xiong and sent him away. Later, Xiong became a Huangmen Lang and Liu became a Shizhong, but they did not speak to each other at first. When Emperor Wu heard this, he ordered Xiong to restore the friendship between the monarch and his subject. Xiong had no choice but to go to Liu, kowtowed twice and said, "I came here in response to the imperial edict, but now the friendship between the monarch and his subject is broken. What do you think?" Then he left. When Emperor Wu heard that there was still discord, he angrily asked Xiong, "I asked you to restore the friendship between monarch and subject. Why did you break it off?" Xiong said, "The gentlemen of the ancient times promoted others with courtesy and dismissed others with courtesy. The gentlemen of today promote others as if they were putting them on their knees and dismiss them as if they were throwing them into the abyss. I am fortunate enough not to be a leader of the army in Liuhe. How can I restore the friendship between monarch and subject?" Emperor Wu agreed.
The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
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