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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Emperor Yuan was in a meeting, he called Prime Minister Wang to sit on the imperial bed. Prime Minister Wang refused firmly, and Emperor Zhongzong made it even more painful for him to do so. The prince said: "If the sun were to shine with all things, how could the ministers look up to it?"
Jia Chong's wife, Li, wrote a set of instructions for girls, which were circulated in the world. The daughter of Li, the wife of King Xian of Qi, and the daughter of Guo, the empress of Emperor Hui. After Chong died, Li and Guo's daughters each wanted to be buried together with their mother, but they could not decide for years. After Empress Jia was deposed, Lady Li was enshrined in the royal family and the burial was decided.
When Zhao's mother married her daughter off, she warned her daughter before she left, "Be careful not to do good things!" The daughter said, "If I can't do good things, can I do evil things?" The mother said, "If I can't do good things, how can I do evil things?"
At first, Mars entered Taiwei and then moved to the west of the abandoned Hai. After Jianwen ascended the throne, he entered Taiwei again, which the emperor disliked. At that time, Xi Chao was the Secretary of the Central Secretariat. He summoned Chao and said, "The Mandate of Heaven is short, so there is no need to calculate. Shouldn't the government keep away from recent events?" Chao said, "The Grand Marshal is currently strengthening the borders and protecting the country. He must not have such concerns. I, your Majesty, will guarantee it with my hundreds of people." The emperor then recited a poem by Yu Zhongchu, "Ambitious men grieve over the dangers of the court, loyal ministers mourn over the humiliation of their lord." His voice was very mournful. When Xi was granted leave to return to the east, the emperor said, "I pay my respects to you, my lord. The affairs of our country have come to this point! As a result, I am unable to protect the country with the right principles and to take precautions against potential disasters. I feel deeply ashamed and sighed. How can I express this?" He burst into tears.
When Lu Wan was appointed Sikong, someone came to him and asked for good wine. When he got it, he stood up, dropped his chopsticks on the ground between the beams and pillars, and said, "There is a lack of talent in the world, so I use you as a pillar. Please don't destroy the pillars of others." He joked, "I will take your good advice."
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