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The way of a gentleman is like starting from near when he wants to go far, and starting from low when he wants to climb high. The Book of Songs says: "Wife and wife are in harmony, like playing the harp and the lyre. Brothers are in harmony, and they are happy and indulgent. Be good to your family, and enjoy your wife and money." Confucius said: "Parents are obedient!"
Xie Wan was appointed as the governor of Yuzhou. He was newly appointed and was about to go to the capital in the west. He was seen off for many days and Xie was exhausted. So Minister Gao went there and sat down with Xie, and asked, "You are now in charge of the provincial governorship and in charge of managing the western borders. How do you govern?" Xie roughly told him his intention. Gao then wrote several hundred words to express his gratitude. Xie then stood up and sat up. After Gao left, Xie chased after him and said, "A'ling has some talent." Therefore, Xie was able to stay until the end.
When hearing of the death of a brother, a great meritorious official or above shall go to the hometown of the deceased and cry. If the brothers who are accompanying the funeral cannot catch up, and meet the master on the road, they shall follow him to the grave. When the master's brother dies, even if he is a distant relative, Yuzhi.
Wang Changshi was ill and his relatives and friends had difficulty communicating. When Lord Lin arrived, the gatekeeper immediately opened the door and said, "There is a stranger at the door. I dare not refuse to open the door." The king laughed and said, "This must be Lord Lin."
The head blamed Qin Ziyu and said: "You are not as good as Wen Yong of Taiyuan, Xun Yu of Yingchuan, Zhang Hua of Fanyang, Liu Xu of Shiqing, Zou Zhan of Yiyang, and Zheng Xu of Henan. These few people are either outspoken and have no sense of rhythm or are naive and seldom talkative, or are too eloquent and have too many gestures, or are noisy and lack wisdom, or have a mouth like glue, or have a head like a pestle. But they are still impressive in their literary talent and detailed in their ideas, and they are like dragons and phoenixes, and they have all ascended to heaven."
When the king and the official are about to bury the deceased, they should offer condolences in the palace; when they leave, they should order the officials to lead the mourners, but they should stop after three steps. After three times, the king will leave; they should do the same in the morning and at the funeral. Those who are fifty years old and do not have carriages should not cross the border to offer condolences.
After Ren Kai lost his power, he no longer disciplined himself. Someone asked He Qiao, "Why did you sit by and watch Yuan Pei fail without helping?" He said, "Yuan Pei is like Beixia Gate, which is about to fall apart. It cannot be supported by a single piece of wood."
Also, the condolence ceremony of the princes is treated as if they were treated as princes. When the lady arrives, she enters from the gate and ascends from the side steps, while the prince is in the east. The rest is the same as the funeral ceremony. The sister-in-law does not caress the uncle, and the uncle does not caress the sister-in-law.
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