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The Book of Songs says: "When wearing brocade, one should still wear a plain cloth." This is because it is disliked that the pattern is conspicuous. Therefore, the way of a gentleman is to be obscure but brighter day by day; the way of a villain is to be clear but disappear day by day. The way of a gentleman is to be indifferent but not disgusting, to be simple but elegant, to be warm but reasonable, to know the nearness of the far, to know the direction of the wind, to know the obviousness of the subtle, and to be able to enter virtue. The Book of Songs says: "Although he is hidden, he is also as bright as Confucius!" Therefore, a gentleman is not guilty when he examines himself, and has no evil in his ambition. What a gentleman cannot reach is what people cannot see! The Book of Songs says: "Even if the prime minister is in your room, he is not ashamed of the leaking roof." Therefore, a gentleman is respectful without moving, and trustworthy without speaking. The Book of Songs says: "When he reports a favor, he does not speak, and there is no dispute at the time." Therefore, a gentleman does not reward, but the people are encouraged, and does not get angry, but the people are as powerful as a sword. The Book of Songs says: "Don't show your virtue! The hundred officials will punish you." Therefore, a gentleman is sincere and respectful, and the world is peaceful. The Book of Songs says: "I have a clear mind, and I do not make loud noises or use color." Confucius said: "Sounds and colors are the least important in transforming the people." The Book of Songs says: "Virtue is like a hair." Even a hair has its own rules. The heaven's carriage is soundless and odorless, it is the ultimate!

Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.

Confucius said, "Rituals are what the people in the streets indulge in. They make the differences between the people and make them have no suspicion. They serve as rules for the people." Therefore, men and women do not have intercourse without a matchmaker, and do not meet without money, fearing that there will be no difference between men and women. With this, the people in the streets still offer themselves. The Book of Songs says, "How can you cut wood? Without an axe, you cannot do it; how can you marry? Without a matchmaker, you cannot get it; how can you plant hemp? You follow her across the field; how can you marry a wife? You must tell her parents." Confucius said, "Do not marry a wife with the same surname, so as to distinguish them." Therefore, if you do not know the surname of a concubine when buying one, you should consult a fortune teller. Because of this people, the Spring and Autumn Annals of Lu still removed the surname of the lady and called her Wu, and her death was called Mengzi's death. Confucius said: "In the ritual, men and women do not exchange titles except for sacrifices." Because of this people, Yang Hou still killed Mu Hou and stole his wife. Therefore, the ritual of the lady was abolished at the grand feast. Confucius said: "If you don't see the son of a widow, you will not be friends with her. The gentleman keeps a distance from her." Therefore, when making friends, if the host is not at home, you will not enter her house unless there is a major reason. Because of this people, the people still value beauty more than virtue. Confucius said: "Love virtue is like love beauty." The princes did not go below the temptation of beauty. Therefore, the gentleman kept a distance from beauty as a rule for the people. Therefore, men and women do not touch each other. When you touch a woman, you should offer your left hand. If the daughter of a aunt, sister or daughter returns after marriage, men should not sit at the same table with her. A widow should not cry at night. If a woman is sick, you should not ask about her illness. Because of this people, the people are still licentious and chaotic in the clan. Confucius said: "At a wedding, the groom personally welcomes the bride and greets the uncle and aunt. The uncle and aunt pass the bride to the groom, fearing that the matter will go wrong." Because of this, some women still do not attend.

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