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Grand Tutor Xie asked the chief clerk Lu Tui, "Why did Zhang Ping write a eulogy for his mother but not for his father?" Tui replied, "It is because a man's virtue is shown in his deeds, and a woman's beauty cannot be revealed without a eulogy."
When Du Qiao's mother died, there was no one in the palace, thinking it was a traitor. Confucius said, "When she died, she wore lamb fur and black hat, just change it." The Confucius did not mourn for lamb fur and black hat.
Wang's right army was very stiff when he was young. After the general's permission, Wang and Yu, the two kings later, the right army wanted to go and said, "Your family, Sikong, Yuangui, can you recover?"
In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
The so-called self-cultivation is to regulate one's family. One should avoid what one loves, avoid what one despises, avoid what one fears, avoid what one pities, and avoid what one is lazy about. Therefore, there are few people in the world who know the evil of what one likes and the beauty of what one hates. Therefore, there is a proverb: "No one knows the evil of his son, and no one knows the greatness of his seedling. "This means that if you do not cultivate yourself, you cannot manage your family.
When the husband of an aunt or sister dies, and there are no brothers in the husband's party, let the husband's family members take charge of the funeral. The wife's party, even if they are close, do not take charge. If the husband has no family, then the front and back families, the east and west families; if there is none, then the village Yin will take charge. Some say: take charge, and attach to the husband's party.
Luo You from Xiangyang had great poetic talent, and was often called a fool when he was young. Once I visited someone's temple and wanted to beg for food, but I went too early and the door was not open. The host went out to welcome the god and asked why he was here at such a bad time. He replied, "I heard about your temple and wanted to beg for a meal." Then he hid beside the door. At dawn, he had his food and left without any shame on his face. He was a man who recorded his merits. He followed Huan Xuanwu in pacifying Shu. He visited the city walls, palaces, and buildings of Shu, as well as the width and narrowness of the roads inside and outside, and the number of fruit trees and bamboos planted. He memorized them all. Later, Xuanwu Piaozhou and Jianwen Collection were collected, and friends also participated. We talked about things in Shu together, and there were some things we had forgotten. All the friends were listed without any mistakes or omissions. Xuanwu checked the records of the city walls and palaces of Shu and found that they were all as he said. Those sitting there were amazed. Xie Gong said: "How can Luo You be inferior to Wei Yangyuan!" Later he became the governor of Guangzhou. When he was in charge of the garrison, the governor Huan Huo told his order not to stay overnight. He replied, "The people have already done this in advance. The host is poor, and may have money for food and wine. We have a long history, so please accept your orders on another day." Zheng Xi secretly sent people to investigate. On that day, he went to the home of his assistant in Jingzhou, where he felt very comfortable and at ease, just like a successful person. In Yizhou, Yuer said, "I have food utensils for five hundred people." Everyone in his family was shocked. Its origin is clear, but the sudden appearance of this thing must be the 250 stacks of black bamboo.
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