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Women's gifts include hazelnuts, dried fruits, dates, and chestnuts.
Wang Zhonglang once asked Liu Changsha, "How am I compared to Gou Zi?" Liu replied, "Your talent is not as good as Gou Zi's, but you are famous in many places." Wang laughed and said, "You are stupid!"
When Xu Yuan was young, people compared him to Wang Gouzi, which made Xu very upset. At that time, many people and Master Yu were giving lectures at the West Temple in Kuaiji, and the king was also there. Xu Yi was very angry, so he went to the West Temple to discuss the pros and cons with Wang. The king was deeply humiliated after being so frustrated. Xu Fu held Wang's position, and Wang held Xu's position, and they exchanged letters with each other; Wang was again submissive. Xu said to Master Zhi: "What did your disciple say just now?" Zhi said calmly: "Your words are good, but why do you have to be so bitter? This is not a talk about seeking the truth!"
At the funeral of Sikou Huizi, Ziyou prepared hemp mourning clothes and hemp sash for him. Wen Zi declined, saying, "You are insulted to be with Mi Mou's brother You, and you are insulted to wear clothes for him. How dare you decline?" Ziyou said, "It is the rite." Wen Zi retreated and cried again. Ziyou hurried to the seats of the ministers. Wen Zi declined again, saying, "You are insulted to be with Mi Mou's brother You, and you are insulted to wear clothes for him, and you are insulted to attend his funeral. How dare you decline?" Ziyou said, "I insist on asking." Wen Zi retreated, helped Shi Zi to stand facing south, and said, "You are insulted to be with Mi Mou's brother You, and you are insulted to wear clothes for him, and you are insulted to attend his funeral. How dare you not return to your position?" Ziyou hurried to the guest seat. At the funeral of General Wenzi, after the mourning period was over, the people of Yue came to offer their condolences. The host wore a deep robe and a white cap, waited in the temple, weeping. Ziyou looked at him and said, "General Wen's son is almost a commoner! He is a man of honor who died according to the etiquette, and his actions are in the right place."
During the three-year mourning period, one should not speak or answer questions. Lu means in the white room, one should not sit with others. In the white room, one should not enter unless it is the right time to see the mother. The elderly should live in the white room and not in the white room. Lu means strict. Wife should be treated as uncles and aunts, aunts and sisters as brothers, and the eldest, middle and youngest as adults. The mourning period for relatives is exempted, and the mourning period for brothers is exempted. The mother and wife of the king should be treated as brothers. Those who show their color should not eat or drink. Apart from the mourning period, when walking on the road, one should be surprised when seeing someone, and surprised when hearing someone’s name. When visiting the deceased or asking about his illness, one’s color and expression must be different from others. Only after this can one observe the three-year mourning period. The rest should be done in a straightforward manner.
Lu Aigong asked Confucius, "Master, are your clothes Confucian clothes?" Confucius replied, "When I was young, I lived in Lu and wore a Fengye robe. When I grew up, I lived in Song and wore a Zhangfu hat. I have heard that a gentleman's learning is extensive, and his clothes are rustic; I don't know Confucian clothes."
Wang Rong and He Qiao suffered a great death at the same time, and both were praised for their filial piety. The king used chicken bones to support his bed, and cried and prepared gifts. Emperor Wu said to Liu Zhongxiong, "Have you visited Wang and He several times? I heard that He was overly sad and distressed, which made people worried." Zhongxiong said, "Although He Qiao was well-dressed, his spirit was not damaged; although Wang Rong was not well-dressed, he was sad and weak. I think He Qiao was filial when he was alive, and Wang Rong was filial when he died. Your Majesty should not worry about Qiao, but worry about Rong."
Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
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