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When Cai Situ crossed the river and saw Peng Xie, he was overjoyed and said, "Crabs have eight legs and two claws." He ordered them to be cooked. After eating, I vomited and felt exhausted, then I realized it was not crab. Later, he told Xie Renzu about this, and Xie said, "You are not familiar with Erya, and you almost died because of my persuasion to study."
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
King Jiong of Qi was the Grand Marshal assisting in the administration, and Ji Shao was the Palace Attendant, who went to Jiong to consult on matters. Jiong set up a meeting of ministers and summoned Ge Yi, Dong Ai and others to discuss current affairs. Yi and others said to Jiong: "Minister Ji is good at playing stringed instruments. You can ask him to play it." So they sent the musical instruments. Shao Tui refused. Jiong said, "We are all happy today, why are you resisting?" Shao said, "You have assisted the royal family and made them do things in an exemplary manner. Although Shao is a low-ranking official, his duties are equivalent to those of an ordinary official. Playing silk and bamboo is the job of a musician. It cannot be dressed according to the rules of the previous kings, which is the occupation of the people of Wu. Now that I am forced to accept the emperor's order, I dare not refuse. I should put down my crown and wear private clothes. This is what Shao wants." Yu and others were dissatisfied and left.
During the funeral of Confucius, two or three disciples all wore mourning clothes and went out. They wore mourning clothes when they were in a group, but not when they went out.
The etiquette of being a minister: do not make public remonstrances. If you remonstrate three times and he does not listen, then flee.
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