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The son of a good blacksmith must learn to make fur coats; the son of a good archer must learn to make winnowing baskets; the beginner must do the opposite, with the chariot in front of the horse. A gentleman who observes these three things can be determined to study.
When Ruan Guanglu was in Shan, he had a good car and he lent it to everyone who asked for it. Someone wanted to borrow money to bury his mother but did not dare to ask. When Queen Ruan heard this, she sighed and said, "I have a carriage but people are afraid to lend it to me. What's the use of the carriage?" Then she burned it.
Prime Minister Wang hired a female entertainer and set up a bed and mat. Lord Cai was present there earlier and left without saying anything, and the king did not try to keep him either.
He Qiao was favored by Emperor Wu, and he said to Qiao: "The Crown Prince seems to have made progress recently. You can go and see him." He also asked, "How is he?" The answer was: "The Crown Prince is as holy as before."
Duke Mu asked Zisi, "Is it ancient to return to serve the old monarch?" Zisi said, "In ancient times, gentlemen promoted people with courtesy and dismissed people with courtesy, so there was a ritual of returning to serve the old monarch; today's gentlemen promote people as if they were about to kneel down and dismiss people as if they were about to cross the abyss, and do not act like the head of an enemy, isn't that good! So why is there a ritual of returning to serve?"
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
The king sends a scholar to welcome the guests at the end of the night, and the ministers go to the temple for labor. The king personally greets them at the gate and receives them in the temple, facing north to bow and give gifts, and bow to the humiliation of the king's order, so as to show respect. Respect and humility are the way gentlemen meet each other. Therefore, the princes meet each other with respect and humility, so they will not invade and bully each other.
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