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After Confucius was buried in Fang, he said: "I have heard that in ancient times, there were tombs but no graves; now there are mounds, and people from all directions can be recognized." So he sealed it and made it four feet high.
In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
Meng Xianzi said, "On the first day of the first month, you can do things to the God; on the seventh day of the seventh month, you can do things to the ancestors." The seventh month is the day of sacrifice, and Xianzi did it. The wife did not ask the emperor for a favor, starting from Duke Zhao of Lu. The wife of the king in the outer clan is the same as the inner clan.
The way of the gentleman is expensive and hidden. The foolishness of a husband and wife can be understood, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not know it. The unworthy husband and wife can do something, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not be able to do it. The universe is so big, but people still have something to regret. Therefore, when a gentleman speaks big, no one in the world can contain it; when he speaks small, no one in the world can break it. The Book of Songs says, "The kite flies to the sky, and the fish leaps in the deep." It means that he is observant of everything. The way of a gentleman starts with husband and wife, and when it reaches the extreme, he observes the universe.
The lowly should not mourn the noble, the young should not mourn the old, this is the etiquette. Only the emperor should be mourned by calling the heaven. The princes mourning each other is not etiquette.
Zhong Hui was Xun Ji's northern cousin, and the two had a bad relationship. Xun had a precious sword that was worth a million dollars and was always kept by his mother, Lady Zhong. Hui was good at calligraphy and imitated Xun's handwriting. He wrote a letter to his mother asking for the sword, but the mother still stole it and never returned it. Xun Xu knew that it was Zhong but had no way of getting it, so he thought about how to repay him. Later, the Zhong brothers spent tens of millions to build a house. When it was completed, it was very magnificent, but they were not allowed to move in. Xun was very good at painting, so he secretly went to paint the Zhongmen Hall, making the image of the Taifu, with his clothes and appearance as he usually is. When the second bell sounded inside, he was filled with grief and the house became deserted.
The people of Wei believed that turtles were knowledgeable. Chen Ziche died in Wei. His wife and her family's senior officials planned to bury him alive with her. After the plan was finalized, Chen Zikang arrived and told her, "My master is ill and there is no one to take care of him. Please bury him alive with me." Zikang said, "Burying him alive with me is not a courtesy. Even if I do, who should take care of him like my wife and the prime minister? If I have to, I will do it. If I have to, I will let my two sons do it." So he did not do it.
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