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Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
After the grave is completed, they return home, and dare not enter the room. They live in a lean-to, mourning for their parents outside; they sleep on straw and pillows, mourning for their parents in the ground. Therefore, they cry without time, serve diligently for three years, and their longing for their parents is the will of filial sons and the reality of human nature.
When Chen Yuanfang was eleven years old, he waited for Yuan Gong. Yuan Gong asked, "Your lord is a virtuous man in Taiqiu, and people far and near praise him. What do you do?" Yuan Fang said, "My old father is in Taiqiu. He comforts the strong with virtue and the weak with kindness. He lets them do whatever they want, and they become more respected over time." Yuan Gong said, "I used to be the magistrate of Ye, and I did just that. I wonder if your lord follows my example or if I follow your father?" Yuan Fang said, "Duke Zhou and Confucius were born in different eras, but they were the same everywhere. Duke Zhou did not learn from Confucius, and Confucius did not learn from Duke Zhou."
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