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Zhong Hui was Xun Ji's northern cousin, and the two had a bad relationship. Xun had a precious sword that was worth a million dollars and was always kept by his mother, Lady Zhong. Hui was good at calligraphy and imitated Xun's handwriting. He wrote a letter to his mother asking for the sword, but the mother still stole it and never returned it. Xun Xu knew that it was Zhong but had no way of getting it, so he thought about how to repay him. Later, the Zhong brothers spent tens of millions to build a house. When it was completed, it was very magnificent, but they were not allowed to move in. Xun was very good at painting, so he secretly went to paint the Zhongmen Hall, making the image of the Taifu, with his clothes and appearance as he usually is. When the second bell sounded inside, he was filled with grief and the house became deserted.
Zixia had just finished mourning and came to see me. I played the zither, but it didn't harmonize, and it didn't make any sound when I played it. He stood up and said, "I have not forgotten my grief. The ancient kings established the rites, and I dare not go beyond them."
When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
Yin Zhongwen was a man of great talent, but he did not read very widely. Bo Liang sighed and said, "If Yin Zhongwen had read half as much as Yuan Bao, his talent would be no less than Ban Gu's."
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Xi Jiabin admired the Buddhist and Taoist An Dewen, and gave him a thousand hu of rice and wrote him letters with piles of paper, expressing his sincere intentions. Daoan answered directly: "It will waste rice." He felt even more annoyed by having to wait for it.
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