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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When holding the emperor's utensils, one should put on the balance, the king should balance, the great officials should rein it, and the scholars should carry it.
Wang Ziyou and Zijing were both seriously ill, but Zijing died first. Ziyou asked his attendants, "Why haven't we heard any news? He is already dead!" He showed no sadness at all when he spoke. They asked for a sedan chair and came to the funeral, but did not cry. Zijing had always loved the zither, so he went straight in and sat on the coffin, took out Zijing's zither and played it. When the strings were out of tune, he threw it to the ground and said, "Zijing! Zijing! Both you and the zither are gone." He was in grief for a long time, and died more than a month later.
Zengzi went to Fuxia to pay tribute to his ancestors. After the host filled the pond, he pushed the coffin back and brought it back. He brought down the women and then performed the rituals. The attendant asked, "Is it the etiquette?" Zengzi said, "The ancestor is Qie; Qie, why can't he stay overnight?" The attendant asked Ziyou again, "Is it the etiquette?" Ziyou said, "Eat under the window, bury the dead in a small way inside the door, bury the dead in a big way on the east side, and hold the funeral in the guest seat. The funeral is held in the courtyard and buried in the tomb. This is how it is far away. Therefore, funerals have progress but no retreat." Zengzi heard this and said, "It's too much. I'm the one who left the ancestor." Zengzi wore a fur coat to pay his respects, and Ziyou wore a fur coat to pay his respects. Zengzi pointed at Ziyou and showed him, "Fuck, you are a man who is accustomed to etiquette, how can you wear a fur coat to pay your respects?" The host had folded his hair in a small way, bared his clothes, and tied his hair; Ziyou hurried out and came back wearing a fur coat and a sash. Zengzi said, "I went too far, I went too far, this is it."
The wife of Duke Cheng of Pei, the daughter of Wang Rong. Wang Rong went to Pei Xu in the morning, but there was no way forward. Pei went down from the bed to the south, and the woman went down from the bed to the north, and they sat opposite each other as host and guest, with no strange expressions on their faces.
Wang Yifu's wife, the daughter of Guo Taining, was of humble talent but strong-willed. She was insatiable in accumulating wealth and was always meddling in other people's affairs. Yi Fu was worried about it but couldn't stop it. At that time, his fellow villager Li Yang, the governor of Youzhou, was a great hero in the capital, just like Lou Hu of the Han Dynasty, and the Guo family was afraid of him. Yi Fu suddenly advised him against it, and he said, "It's not just me who says you can't do it, Li Yang also says you can't do it." Guo was slightly hurt by this.
Pao: take a pig, cut it up, fill it with dates, weave it with weeds, apply it with careful coating, fry it, and dry the coating, split it, wash your hands and rub it, remove the wrinkles, make rice flour and urine to make wine, add it to the pig to fry the fat, and the fat must be burned. Boil it in a large pot and put dried tangerines in a small pot. Make sure the pot does not burn. Do not turn off the fire for three days and three nights, and then season it with acid and meat.
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