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The legend says: "There are those who are light and heavy, and the wife of a prince is his aunt. There are those who are heavy and light, and the wife's parents. There are those who are without mourning and with mourning, and the prince's wife is his brother-in-law. There are those who are with mourning and without mourning, and the prince is his wife's parents." The legend says: "When the mother is divorced, the stepmother's party mourning is worn; when the mother dies, the stepmother's party mourning is worn. If the stepmother's party mourning is worn, then the stepmother's party mourning is not worn."
For a man who is a son, the three gifts are not as great as a carriage and horses. Therefore, his neighbors praised him for his filial piety, his brothers and relatives praised him for his kindness, his colleagues praised him for his brotherly love, his friends praised him for his benevolence, and his acquaintances praised him for his trustworthiness. Seeing my father’s insistence, I dare not advance unless I am told to, I dare not retreat unless I am told to, and I dare not answer unless I am asked. This is the behavior of a filial son.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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