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The son of Yang from Liang State, nine years old, is very intelligent. Kong Junping went to see his father, but his father was not at home, so he called his son out and set out fruit for him. Among the fruits there was bayberry, and Confucius pointed to it and said to the child, "This is the fruit from your home." The child replied immediately, "I have never heard that peacocks are your home poultry."
He Yan was the Minister of Personnel and held a prestigious position. His room was always filled with guests for conversation. Wang Bi, who was not yet twenty years old, went to see him. Yan heard of Bi's name, so he cited the superior theory of the previous one and said to Bi: "I think this theory is the best, can you challenge it again?" Bi then challenged, and everyone in the room thought he was inferior. So Bi acted as the host and the guest several times, but each time he was better than others.
The eldest son of Shan Gong was wearing a short cap and leaning in the carriage. Emperor Wu wanted to see him, and Shan Gong did not dare to refuse. He asked his son, but the son refused to go. The contemporary opinion was that he was Shengshan Gong.
People with the same surname follow the clan and are of the same clan; people with different surnames follow the name and govern the society. Names are written, but men and women are different. If the husband belongs to the father's way, his wife is the mother's way; if the husband belongs to the son's way, his wife is the wife's way. If the brother's wife is called "wife", can the sister-in-law also be called "mother"? Name is the most important thing in human governance, so can we not be careful? After four generations, the mourning period is exhausted; after five generations, the same surname is killed. After six generations, the relatives are exhausted. The common surnames are distinguished at the top, and the relatives are at the bottom. Can marriages be allowed? They are tied by surnames and are not distinguished, and they are tied by food and are not different. Even if a hundred generations, marriages cannot be allowed, this is the way of Zhou.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Xun Fengqian and his wife were very close. In winter, when his wife suffered from a fever, he went out to the courtyard to cool himself down, and then used his body to warm the fever. After his wife died, Feng Qian also died young. Therefore he was ridiculed by the world. Feng Qian said: "A woman's virtue is not worth mentioning, her beauty should be the main thing." Pei Ling heard this and said: "This is a matter of excitement, not a statement of great virtue. I hope that future generations will not forget this saying."
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